So Much of Everything

Love

Peace

Joy

Hope

Strength

Endurance

Faithfulness

Perseverance

Never-Ending

Always Present

You are these and so much more to me each and everyday. No matter has came, what is here or that which is yet to come...you are there. What I am on my own is nothing in comparison to what I am in You! You show me things about myself I didn't know existed...You push me to be more then I ever dreamed possible to be...You strengthen me to persevere through, even when I'd rather sit down and give up. No amount of words can truly express who You truly are and all that You truly do.

All Things Are Possible

Darlene Zschech

Almighty God my Redeemer, my hiding place, my strong refuge

No other name like Jesus, no power can stand against you

My feet are planted on this rock and I will not be shaken

My hope it comes from you alone, my Rock and my Salvation

Your praise is always on my lips, your Word is living in my heart

And I will praise you with a new song, my soul will bless you Lord

You fill my life with greater joy, as I delight myself in you

And I will praise you with a new song, my soul will bless you Lord

My feet are planted on this rock and I will not be shaken

My hope it comes from you alone, my Rock and my Salvation

Your praise is always on my lips, your Word is living in my heart

And I will praise you with a new song, my soul will be bless you Lord

You fill my life with greater joy, as I delight myself in you

And I will praise you with a new song, my soul will bless you Lord

When I am weak you make me strong,

When I'm poor, I know I'm rich for in the power of your name

All things are possible, all things are possible

Comfort

It's been a while since I really felt like typing anything. Even now, it's not necessarily that I feel like typing, but am continuing to sort a lot of things out. I've really been out of the loop in a lot of senses the past while, both in real life and this electronic world as well. This week held a tiny bit of returning to some sense of 'normalcy'. It very well might be that we're simply changing what 'normalcy' is, but whatever it might be called, a tiny bit of it has been felt this week.

The other night I was blessed to be able to attend a Wednesday night prayer service. It's an awesome circle of people who meet...a circle which is always open to as many people who want to be in it. There is a love and God's presence felt that I simply cannot do justice in through my words. To be able to drink in God's presence as richly as I did the other night, was a precious gift that I have missed SO very much. It's definitely experiences and things like that which allow you to gain a renewed sense of strength and vision, and that give you the endurance to continue down the winding road of this journey. We sang the song below on Wednesday...


GOD OF COMFORT
(DDOZLAW)

To the weary you have promised rest
To the earnest you promise righteousness
To the broken comes the time to be restored
Upon the pure in heart
Comes the presence of the Lord

When we pass through the waters
We will not be swept away
And as we pass through the fire
We will not be set ablaze
By that which all shall pass away
God of comfort
God of freedom God of hope
God of comfort
You are

To the troubled you have promised peace
To the shackled you promise true release
To the faithful come the prophecies fulfilled
Upon the selfless
Rests the blessing of Your will

When we pass through the waters
We will not be swept away
And as we pass through the fire
We will not be set ablaze
By that which all shall pass away
God of comfort
God of freedom God of hope
God of comfort
You are

You are
You are...

© 2001 Northview Music


As we sang, it felt like God's arms were coming around me and saying that it's okay that I feel tired, broken, weak and so much more. His presence engulfed me and in that moment, I knew that no matter what, I will come out standing strong. He'll give me all I need to endure and persevere.

Acceptance is so huge. The longing to be accepted by those around you, simply for where you're at and not for where you can't possibly be right now. The responsibility which lies on our shoulders, to not long for what we don't have or where we aren't, but to accept and be content with exactly where He's placed us and with all that is on our plates at this time.

To simply live a life which is pleasing to Him...I learned an important lesson the other night. I don't always see myself in a good light. I don't always see myself as being a very strong light for Him. I don't see myself as enduring this time gracefully, being strong in any sense of the word or being anything that would set any semblance of a good example or testimony for anyone around me. The other night I learned, that God often shows us who we truly are through the eyes of those around us. I really think some days, that this is why He has made us to live in the communities that we live in.

That's pretty humbling to me today...

Surrounded

Cry Out To Jesus
Words by Mac Powell / Music by Third Day

To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith in love
They've done all they can to make it right again
Still it's not enough

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you're not alone in your shame
And your suffering

When your lonely
And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus

To the widow who struggles with being alone
Wiping the tears from her eyes
For the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight


This is another favorite which I've started listening to this week. It speaks volumes every time I play it, because it talks about how life is and what the answer is. It doesn't say that things will always be okay or you'll never have problems. What it does say, is that despite that, He's always there with you and you simply need to cry, whisper or just think the words...He'll hear them...He already knows what's being thought.


"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." (Hebrews 12:1-3)

The Journey...

I've found myself listening to more music than ever the past while. Listening in quiet reflection as I take in the words. Praying through some of the songs, especially in times where the words don't come easy. I'm beginning this week off, being able to sing in one on one worship. That's been virtually non-existent in my life the past few months, yet so very essential to how I'm wired.

As I continue this journey of figuring things out and wondering how things took some of the turns they did, I do have to look at the point of getting back to what I know works. Not only getting back to it, but making a pact between God and I, that I won't continue to lose sight of it. I've still got a distance to go in getting there, and really, things might always be a work towards other things.

As for our family, we are still fighting off illness. It seems we barely get all better and another falls ill. I am still on antibiotics, but thankfully all those nasty side effects of medicine have subsided...I'm remembering to use my head when taking my meds, which has helped a lot in making sure the side effects stay away. Am I completely better? I don't even want to wager a guess on that one. I'm going to leave it up to the doctors, because it's really out of my control in many ways. We're surviving and I know I'm feeling His presence in a very strong way this week, even more so than others...that's a small light in life right now. As I've told people, I'm trying hard to not yearn for where I could be, but simply be content with where I am. It's not easy to be content where you are, when that seems to be a low place, but I am realizing that for God to truly work through a situation, that total surrender is essential, so I am working hard towards that for Him.

This song is on my iPod and has been playing constantly...it's my new favorite. If you would like to listen to it, you can hear it here http://www.selahonline.com/...it's powerful and every time I listen to it, I feel His love wash over me and and that helps me to attend to the things I need to.

Glory
by Nichole Nordeman

One day, eyes that are blind will see you clearly
One day all who deny will finally believe
One day hearts made of stone will break in pieces
One day chains, once unbroken, will fall down at Your feet
So we wait
For that one day
Come quickly, we want to see Your…

Glory
Every knee falls down before Thee
Every tongue offers You praise, with every hand raised
Singing Glory
To You and unto You only
We’ll sing Glory to Your name.

One day, voices that lie will all be silenced
One day all that’s divided will be whole again
One day death will retreat, and wave its white flag
One day love will defeat the strongest enemy
So we wait
For that one day
Come quickly, we want to see Your…

Glory
Every knee falls down before Thee
Every tongue offers You praise, with every hand raised
Singing Glory
To You and unto You only
We’ll sing Glory to Your name.

We know not the day or the hour,
or the moments in between
But we know the end of the story…
when we’ll see Your…

Glory
Every knee falls down before Thee
Every tongue offers You praise, with every hand raised
Singing Glory
To You and unto You only
We’ll sing Glory to Your name.

Because of You...

THERE’S A PLACE
(Paul Oakley)

THERE’S A PLACE WHERE THE STREETS SHINE
WITH THE GLORY OF THE LAMB
THERE’S A WAY WE CAN GO THERE
WE CAN LIVE THERE BEYOND TIME

BECAUSE OF YOU- BECAUSE OF YOU
BECAUSE OF YOUR LOVE-BECAUSE OF YOUR BLOOD

NO MORE PAIN- NO MORE SADNESS
NO MORE SUFFERING- NO MORE TEARS
NO MORE SIN- NO MORE SICKNESS
NO INJUSTICE- NO MORE DEATH

BECAUSE OF YOU- BECAUSE OF YOU
BECAUSE OF YOUR LOVE-BECAUSE OF YOUR BLOOD

ALL OUR SINS ARE WASHED AWAY
AND WE CAN LIVE FOREVER
NOW WE CAN HAVE THIS HOPE BECAUSE OF YOU
OH WE’LL SEE YOU FACE TO FACE
AND WE WILL DANCE TOGETHER
IN THE CITY OF OUR GOD BECAUSE OF YOU

THERE IS JOY EVERLASTING
THERE IS GLADNESS- THERE IS PEACE
THERE IS WINE EVER FLOWING
THERE’S A WEDDING- THERE’S A FEAST

BECAUSE OF YOU- BECAUSE OF YOU
BECAUSE OF YOUR LOVE-BECAUSE OF YOUR BLOOD


There was a funeral on Saturday at our church for a very remarkable woman of God. This was the closing song and it's been in my head ever since. I woke up, both yesterday and this morning, with this song singing through my head...drums, guitar and all!

It's been a very humbling and hugely amazing weekend. It was the first time I've actually been out a good portion of the time and not come home completely exhausted. For the first time since the end of November, beginning of December, I can cautiously say that I feel like I might be on the mend. I know I have a long way to go, but it feels like we might have actually found the key to moving forward a little at a time.

I've done a lot of soul searching this weekend. I've really sat and thought about what is truly important in my life. Thought about what really brings purpose and meaning to who I am. What I truly need to do to be strong and seeming to continually be free-falling in a bad way.

It's been a very overwhelming weekend, but at the same time, very rewarding and powerful. Life's precious...I'm finally back to wanting to truly live it out again!

Claims and Places

WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE IN ME
(Reuben Morgan)

LET THE WEAK SAY I AM STRONG
LET THE POOR SAY I AM RICH
LET THE BLIND SAY I CAN SEE
IT’S WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE IN ME

HOSANNA HOSANNA
TO THE LAMB THAT WAS SLAIN
HOSANNA HOSANNA
JESUS DIED AND ROSE AGAIN

INTO THE RIVER I WILL WADE
THERE MY SINS ARE WASHED AWAY
FROM THE HEAVENS MERCY STREAMS
OF THE SAVIOR’S LOVE FOR ME

I WILL RISE FROM WATERS DEEP
INTO THE SAVING ARMS OF GOD
I WILL SING SALVATION SONGS
JESUS CHRIST HAS SET ME FREE


We sang this song on Sunday at church. It came into my head and I began to sing it a little while ago. It's a song of huge strength for me, because it speaks of how powerful His love is for us.

I was emailing with a friend this morning and I wrote these words... "A small light was that despite how everything has been, yesterday was actually a pretty good day. I was going through my serving seminar results and was also going through some scripture from the Bible study assignment our group was going to do. I came to a place of knowing deep inside that I will come through everything strong and I simply can't focus on the negatives any longer. I can't beat myself up because of the short-comings I might be portraying, but simply draw more from Him...knowing that eventually those short-comings might not be there, or at least nearly as bad as they are currently."

I guess I've also been trying to take personal inventory and this was a question I asked..."The last while as I've struggled, have I portrayed a bad walk or huge lack of faith?"

I think for me, the biggest fear I have is that I will portray God in a bad light, through how I deal with the trials in my life. I know deep within me, as a result of things which have happened in the past and just because of how I think, that I do have a strong faith. But my worry is, that if I have to continue to justify this in my mind, then am I being blasphemous to God on a daily basis? Am I falling short in my love and devotion to Him?

I am actually going to be claiming this song as a daily prayer for me. I want to make that conscious effort...to go to Him, to be in the river, washed clean to start the day and living each day in His loving arms. I know I'm saved because of His love and therefore, I know that I will be victorious...so will you.

I guess you could say that this post is simply the beginning of me being able to wrap my head around what God's speaking right now. It's the beginning of me digging deep within myself and pulling myself closer to Him. It's the beginning of trying to stomp the excess noise and lies of the enemy, which come into my mind daily. I guess you could say I'm accepting me for me and claiming myself for Who I truly belong to. Remember Day: 25: Transformed by Trouble from The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren that I was talking about yesterday? This portion talks about life, problems and God's role in those. There will be more reflection to come on this chapter...it was the medicine I needed to take in this week. I am going to end with this passage from that chapter...

"God has a purpose behind every problem.

He uses circumstances to develop our character. In fact, he depends more on circumstances to make us like Jesus than he depends on our reading the Bible. The reason is obvious: You face circumstances twenty-four hours a day.

Jesus warned us that we would have problems in the world. No one is immune to pain or insulated from suffering, and no one gets to skate through life problem-free. Life is a series of problems. Every time you solve one, another is waiting to take its place. Not all of them are big, but all are significant in God's growth process for you...

God uses problems to draw you closer to himself...Your most profound and intimate experiences of worship will likely be in your darkest days - when your heart is broken, when you feel abandoned, when you're out of options, when the pain is great - and you turn to God alone. It is during suffering that we learn to pray our most authentic, heartfelt, honest-to-God prayers. When we're in pain, we don't have the energy for superficial prayers.

Joni Eareckson Tada notes, "When life is rosy, we may slide by with knowing about Jesus, with imitating him and quoting him and speaking of him. But only in suffering will we know Jesus." We learn things about God in suffering that we can't learn any other way."
(The Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren)