I'm usually a person who likes to go through this life, befriending and loving those around me, like Christ did. I don't want to be someone who refuses a friendship to someone, based on a technicality or because they may not be "perfect", because it's no News Flash that none of us are "perfect"! I'm sorry that you get to hear my rantings, but I'm dealing with a situation now and the only way I know how to work through it, is to write and pray and then to write and pray some more.
I have an unique knack of making friendships and down the road, ending up in the middle, like a peacemaker. The middleman is such a hard place to be...you have to learn to be completely impartial, lend an equally listening ear to both sides and to really allow God to work through you the way he feels is best. It's a stressful place to be a lot of times...you feel torn in two and at times feel like you'll eventually be forced to make a decision of who's friendship is more important to keep. I hate rifts and a breakdown in unification, especially when it's in Christ's family. You would think we'd know better, but we're human and even though He gives us a roadmap to live life and how to live peacefully, Satan will try his hardest to breakdown the unification of Christ's family.
I think this is hardest for me to deal with at times, because I think things to death and I don't want the people around me to be hurting, not getting along and if there's a way for me to help in working towards a solution, then I want to have my heart towards doing that. I don't like to see people at odds, because it's really hard to do God's kingdom work when we're not an unified body!
I guess it's back to contemplating and doing some praying about where I need to be in this situation and I guess as to whether I should be there in the capacity I am or not. I'm also diving into a bunch of information about personality types...in May I took a Christian-base personality test...it gave you a case study from the Bible (a biblical person) who was an example of your personality type. We did this, so as a Ministry Team we would be more conscious about the leaders around us...we would know their personality types and would hopefully learn how to more effectively deal with arising situations based on how we were wired. I was deemed to have one of the rarest of all personality types...I don't really know if that's a good thing or not, but once I read through and really know what I want to say, another post will come your way!
4 comments:
I can imagine how difficult it is to be the middle-man. I actually wonder if you should be, if you are taking on responsibilities that are not yours?
I agree, praying about it is the best thing to do. May God show His will for you.
I will remember you in my prayers, sister!
God's Grace.
I know what you mean Corry...I keep wondering with my friendships from my old city, that maybe I shouldn't have agreed to that role...it's really unnerving how sometimes it just happens...this situation now is one I didn't ask to be in and really didn't even know it existed and to complicate things even further...I'm new and don't know the history...I just simply want to be the friend my friends need...I really don't want to have to be a peacemaker or feel like my heart is been torn into two between two friendships.
I need to do a lot more praying about it and in my old friendships, I may have to take some difficult steps to take myself out of the middleman situation. With this current one, I might have to nip it in the bud before it starts...it's hard when you know deep down that you might end up having to sacrifice a friendship to make sure another stays stronger and healthy, but sometimes that's what needs to happen.
God bless you sister!
Count on our prayers Cinder. Perhaps you can simply be honest with all and allow each friend to decide whether or not to sacrifice your friendship.
Thank you so much for your support Kc and Corry! I'm still doing a lot of thinking on this and have been hammering things through with a friend. Kc, you are very right...really I should be able to be honest with them and have them make the decision on whether or not our friendship should be sacrificed...it shouldn't fall on my shoulders alone!
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