Wednesday, February 28, 2007

God's Sense of Humor

The post which I talked about below...I'm not going to write it today, very well might not be tomorrow or this week. But being that I'm at my computer while Little Mister works away on his school work, I thought I would post a little tidbit.

The first thing...I think God has a real interesting sense of humor some days...actually many days. So if you were to think about it...what would your view be on this?

The second thing...the reason why I think God has a real interesting sense of humor. I have been attending a Ladies Bible study and even though I can't go tonight, I read through what will be studied. They are looking at Day 25 of The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. I opened the book and this is what I saw...Day 25: Transformed by Trouble.

I laughed out loud and then had to explain to Mr. Cinder what all the laughter was about. It was an awesome thing to read...came at a very good time, on what was a pretty hard day, knowing that today would not be a lot better.

Anyhow, once I get my brain completely wrapped around it, I am planning on writing my reflections in a post. I don't know about you, but sometimes when I read something that hits so close, it takes a while to completely absorb all aspects of what you've taken in. The verse to remember was Romans 8:28, but I really liked Romans 8:26-28 together and all it had to say, so I'll sign off on that note!

"In the same way, the Holy Spirit helps us when we are weak. We don't know what we should pray for. But the Spirit himself prays for us. He prays with groans too deep for words. God, who looks into our hearts, knows the mind of the Spirit. And the Spirit prays for God's people just as God wants him to pray.

We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him. He appointed them to be saved in keeping with his purpose."

~ Romans 8:26-28(NIRV)


I received "Hold on Tight" this morning from a friend from college. We had lost touch, but regained contact a few years ago. Most of our contact is now via the Internet and yearly Christmas cards and greetings, but we have made that conscious effort to keep the contact alive and well.

I simply wanted to post this, because to me it speaks a lot of truth. Life is a precious blessing and so is each second we are blessed to live with. I know I'm guilty of not appearing to not see this, but I do know how precious it truly is. I've been with more than one family member as they took their final second here, the next second their spirit has left. I've been behind the vehicle of a car, enjoying life with my kids one minute and in the next, I was wondering if life would ever be the same as I knew it.

I've experienced with my mom what it's like to be handed a diagnosis which means your life will never be the same. It is in that instant that you truly realize the frailness of this life and just how precious your loved ones are. You begin to live and view life in a vastly different light. So, that's why this is being posted.

Hold on Tight
To realize the value of a sister:
Ask someone who doesn't have one.

To realize the value of ten years:
Ask a newly divorced couple.

To realize the value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize the value of one year:
Ask a student who has failed a final exam.

To realize the value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize the value of one month:
Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of one minute:
Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize the value of one-second:
Ask a person who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when
you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend or family member:

I thought about all of those things. I realized that those who are wise and do what is right are under God's control. What they do is also under his control. But a man doesn't know whether God will show favor to him. Everyone will die someday. Death comes to godly and sinful people alike. It comes to good and bad people alike. It comes to "clean" and "unclean" people alike. Those who offer sacrifices and those who don't offer them also die. A good person dies, and so does a sinner. Those who take oaths die. So do those who are afraid to take them.

Here's what is so bad about everything that happens on this earth. Death catches up with all of us. Also, the hearts of people are full of evil. They live in foolish pleasure. After that, they join those who have already died.

Anyone who is living still has hope. Even a live dog is better off than a dead lion! People who are still alive know they'll die. But those who have died don't know anything. They don't receive any more rewards. And they are soon forgotten. Their love, hate and jealousy disappear. They will never share again in anything that happens on earth.

Go and enjoy your food. Be joyful as you drink your wine. Now is the time God favors what you do. Always wear white clothes to show you are happy. Anoint your head with olive oil. You love your wife. So enjoy life with her. Do it all the days of this meaningless life God has given you on earth. That's what he made you for. That's what you get for all of your hard work on earth.

No matter what you do, work at it with all your might. Remember, you are going to your grave. And there isn't any work or planning or knowledge or wisdom there.

Here's something else I've seen on this earth. Races aren't always won by those who run fast. Battles aren't always won by those who are strong. Wise people don't always have plenty of food. Clever people aren't always wealthy. Those who have learned a lot aren't always favored. God controls the timing of every event. He also controls how things turn out.

A man doesn't know when trouble will come to him. Fish are caught in nets. Birds are taken in traps. And people are trapped by hard times that come when they don't expect them.

~ Ecclesiastes 9 (NIRV)

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Slowly But Surely...

Received some test results yesterday...still waiting for some more to be back. I'm back on medication for another 5 weeks...we're hopeful that a long-term treatment might be the key to ridding my body of the infection. I am also being referred to a specialist, where I'll hopefully have more tests done, which might shed some more light on the underlying cause.

Meanwhile, I'm still pretty tired. We're trying our hardest to keep school on track and where it needs to be. Hopelessly devoted to trying to get our house looking better than the tar pits from the Flintstones. Oh yeah, I have to cut out all sweets from my diet...NO MORE COMFORT cream, chocolate, man, especially Whoppers. Well, I guess that's's really not the best for me to have all those comfort foods flowing through my veins anyhow ;D !

We're holding our own...slowly but surely I think things are going to begin to even out a little bit. Eventually it will come...right now we're simply in a holding pattern.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Requests and Confessions

In my mind, I always seem to have rather odd prayer requests. They're never really typical and don't always make sense to anyone, including me. But yet there they are, genuinely needing lifted up like any other request might.

The other day I made one such request to a friend who is praying alongside our family. The request went something like this...

"You know, you always know there are lots of people reading on the blogosphere, but despite that I use my blog as a trash can sometimes...especially lately, as I've tried to work through everything... my odd request is that I will not use any blog as a sewage waste dump, no matter how frustrating things seem. That I will either bottle it for a while or I don't know, but that when I'm blogging, I will only write positive and uplifting posts."

The interesting part about making this request, was that I received a response from my friend, which really made me think about what I had asked for. The bottom-line which came out of everything was this response from my heart...

"But really, right now I know very little...the one thing I know is that I need to write what comes into mind. I need to write for me and for Him and not worry about what those around me think or say or take away from it. 'Cause the reality is that's what writing is for me and I have no business changing that."

I have a confession to make as I write this post. I don't like life very much right now. I can't express enough how much love I have for the Lord and for the people I'm so very blessed to have in my life. But despite all that, I don't really like how I have been during these past months of trial. I don't like how I feel inside...I don't like just simply surviving this life. Life feels so overwhelming right becomes hard sometimes to see the worth in fighting through each day.

And you know, the worst thing I could probably do, would be to quit writing, and especially to bottle everything which is going on. Because then, not only would I be feeling the way I'm feeling, I wouldn't be allowing it out of my system at all, which would only make matters worse. I know I've already made an agreement with's cemented pretty good...but bottling things would take that agreement to another level. I haven't quite figured out how I will break the agreement I inadvertently made...but I know over time, God will help me figure that out and break it.

I have a bookmark sitting in one of many books I'm trying to read through right now. I'm ending this post with the scripture that bookmark holds..."The LORD will guide you always: He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." (Isaiah 58:11)

Some Food I'm Going to Take In...

Ephesians 3:16-19
14-19 My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.

Romans 12
Place Your Life Before God

1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

3 I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.

4-6 In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.

6-8 If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate; if you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.

9-10 Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

11-13 Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.

14-16 Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody.

17-19 Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it."

20-21 Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he's thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Funny Food

I am Sam
I am Sam
Sam I am

That Sam-I-am!
That Sam-I-am!
I do not like
that Sam-I-am!

Do you like
green eggs and ham?

I do not like them,
I do not like
green eggs and ham.
(taken from Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss)

This is one of many favorite books that Little Miss much so that she asked us last winter to make green eggs and ham. So we did, because why's really way too short to not do the fun and quirky stuff like that.

I'm thinking it very well might almost be the dive back into our childhood story and have some green eggs and ham!

Friday, February 23, 2007


Well, I thought I would quickly type a note before I get teaching Little Mister. It's been a very interesting time and I have to say thank you for all the comments of blessings, love and encouragement that you have left. It's been very uplifting and even though I might not get around to responding right away, I do really appreciate them...they always seem to come at exactly the perfect time.

I don't want to really go into details with what's been up, but it's been a time of countless antibiotics for me, one kid and then ended off with 'worms' and all that goes with making sure that leaves the building for good.

I received some advice this week from a friend. It made me realize where I have been keeping agreements and where I should be having agreements. I guess most importantly, it spoke to me that I do have friendships out there, even though some days it seems like I'm alone. It spoke how important it is to not go things alone and to have that support. So I'm going to end with it 'cause I think it's a pretty good message to tag with!

"Do not enter into agreement with despair.
It is not pathetic to ask for a cup of water on a hot day."

Wednesday, February 21, 2007


i know i rarely show it lately
i know i rarely stop to talk
life seems to continue on despite the fact
our relationship is continuing to fall out

how we've arrived at this place
i don't really know
these things of life seem to pile up
until the light grows dim and distant

but i want You
yeah, i truly do want You
so much more of You and less of me
deep down inside i know that's how it should be

You're always there
despite what goes down
patiently waiting for me to return
i know i hurt You
as i try to walk it alone
yet You never leave my side

but i want You
yeah, i truly do want You
so much more of You and less of me
deep down inside i know that's how it should be

i need You
i truly need all of You
so much more of You and less of me
deep down i know that's how it has to be

because i need You

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Sound Advice

You Raise Me Up
Josh Groban

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

As I was listening to music this afternoon, attempting to get some quiet and regain a little peace, this song was one I listened to. It seemed like pretty clear advice I needed to hear. I thought it would serve as a little bit of a better post than the one below.


I'm really, really tired right now. I could put up some fluffy post right now, but I don't want to. You know, I know God is with me all the time...He's my peace, strength and all I need to get through all things. But right now, this life seems like I've done something wrong and I'm being punished...things just keep coming and they don't let up.

I really can't take it anymore...if that shows a lack of faith, I'm sorry, but it's where I am. How's the saying go? "Survival of the the fittest" feels like a continual game of survival...I don't feel very fit to fight anything and I honestly don't want to fight or play anymore. I simply want it to be finished.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Grant All Which Is Needed


"It was the last and most important day of the Feast. Jesus stood up and spoke in a loud voice. He said, "Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Does anyone believe in me? Then, just as Scripture says, streams of living water will flow from inside him."

~ John 7:37-38

Thursday, February 15, 2007





Food I Was Drawn to Today...My Life's Theme Verses

"Then Moses summoned Joshua. He said to him with all Israel watching, "Be strong. Take courage. You will enter the land with this people, this land that God promised their ancestors that he'd give them. You will make them the proud possessors of it. God is striding ahead of you. He's right there with you. He won't let you down; he won't leave you. Don't be intimidated. Don't worry." (Deuteronomy 31:7-8, MSG)

"This is God's Word on the subject: "As soon as Babylon's seventy years are up and not a day before, I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. 12"When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. "When you come looking for me, you'll find me. "Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed."
(Jeremiah 29:10-14(a), MSG)

"Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?God doesn't come and go. God lasts. He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, they run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind." (Isaiah 40:28-31, MSG)

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

I Love You Sweetie...

Hey there Mr. Cinder...this post's for you.

As your arms wrap around me,
I rest in the comfort of your love.
I realize how much I take you for granted,
A dangerous step I should never embark on.

Sometimes this life is so crazy and inexplicable,
The hairiness too easily spills over and consumes.
Robbing our haven we've worked so hard to build,
Of the sanctuary of peace it should very well be.

I couldn't imagine my life without you in it,
That would be inexplicable and crazy in itself.
I love you so much more than I ever voice or show,
My wish for you is that I'll no longer take for granted the precious time we share together.

That's truly what our love is...
Precious, unconditional and a blessing beyond my wildest dreams.
Through all life has to offer,
We continue to grow and so does our love...deeper everyday.

Some Food Feeding Me Today...

"The God who made the world and everything in it, this Master of sky and land, doesn't live in custom-made shrines or need the human race to run errands for him, as if he couldn't take care of himself. He makes the creatures; the creatures don't make him. Starting from scratch, he made the entire human race and made the earth hospitable, with plenty of time and space for living so we could seek after God, and not just grope around in the dark but actually find him. He doesn't play hide-and-seek with us. He's not remote; he's near. We live and move in him, can't get away from him! One of your poets said it well: 'We're the God-created.' Well, if we are the God-created, it doesn't make a lot of sense to think we could hire a sculptor to chisel a god out of stone for us, does it? (Acts 17:26-28, MSG)

"So let's do it—full of belief, confident that we're presentable inside and out. Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching."
(Hebrews 10:24-25, MSG)

"Take this most seriously: A yes on earth is yes in heaven; a no on earth is no in heaven. What you say to one another is eternal. I mean this. When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I'll be there."
( Matthew 18:19-20, MSG)

You can give without loving, But you cannot love without giving.
~ Amy Carmichael

Tuesday, February 13, 2007


This is probably a question I should be able to answer, but right now am really struggling with...

How do you know if something is a spiritual battle OR if it's God telling you it's time to stop and rest?

Monday, February 12, 2007

God Speaks in Many Avenues

Nightmare #71
(Larry Norman)

Last night I had that same old dream it rocked me in my sleep
And left me the impression that the sandman plays for keeps
I dreamed I was in concert in the middle of the clouds
John Wayne and Billy Graham were giving breath mints to the crowds
I fell through a hole in heaven I left the stage for good
And when I landed on the earth I was back in Hollywood

The California earthquake it tore the land in half
While San Andreas cleared her throat I heard tsunami laugh
The ground began to tremble the land began to sway
And people in the other states they were glad they'd moved away
But suddenly California just floated in the breeze
While every state that wasn't sank down into the seas

And soon I saw Atlantis rumble and rise high
And the great egg of Euphrates came down out of the sky
And out stepped Shirley Temple with Guy Kippee who was dead
And that communist Bill Robinson whom Shirley called black red
They have a marionette of Harpo Marx they said it was an inside joke
But when I honked his horn he came alive and these were the words he spoke

"With the continents adrift and the sun about to shift
Will the ice caps drown us all or will we burn
We've polluted what we own will we reap what we have sown?
Are we headed for the end or can we turn?
We've paved the forest killed the streams
Burned the bridges to our dreams
The earth is bursting at the seams
And in pain of childbirth screams
As it gives life to what seems
To either be an age that gleams
Or simply lays there dying
If this goes on will life survive how can it
Out of the grave oh who will save our planet?"

I said I'm pleased to meet you I always thought you were a scream
He said "Have you ever thought of having Helen Keller in your dreams
I said Errol Flynn dropped by but he tried to steal my girl
The she ran off with Ronald Colman said something about a new world
Now I'm stuck with my own cooking hey I'm lonely can't you see
Well he grabbed my leg and said exactly eighty nine words to me
Count them

"Let the proud but dying nation kiss the last generation
It's the year of the pill, age of the gland
We have landed on the moon but we'll clutter that up soon
Our sense of freedom's gotten out of hand
We kill our children swap our wives
We've learned to greet a man with knives
We swallow pills in fours and fives
Our cities look like crumbling hives
Man does not live he just survives
We sleep till he arrives
Love is a corpse we sit and watch it harden
We left it oh so long ago the garden"

The strings snapped briskly then went slack the marionette lay dead
While Hoover played with the motorcade the body slumped and bled
The man who held the camera disappeared into the crowd
I said the hope of youth, fictitious truth, lays covered in a shroud
Then up walked Elmo Lincoln and he said I beg you pardon
But we left it oh so long ago, the garden.

These words were read yesterday...I can't honestly tell you if all of them were read or only a portion, because certain words spoke so powerfully to me, that I missed a lot of others. Thank goodness I had enough brain-power to write down the song...I like Larry Norman's music, even have some of it, but because growing up, I didn't have any access to Christian music, I am only now realizing how powerful his lyrics are.

This part overwhelmed me and had me choking back tears badly...

"We swallow pills in fours and fives
Our cities look like crumbling hives
Man does not live he just survives
We sleep till he arrives
Love is a corpse we sit and watch it harden
We left it oh so long ago the garden"

You see, my life right now is swallowing pills in fours and fives, more than once a day. The reality for me...even when I beat this stupid infection, in order to be proactive, I will be supplementing and that will involve taking pills in threes, fours and fives, more than once a day.

I guess the bottom line was, that anything which could have went wrong this weekend, did. I was paid to decorate a cake and even though I did get the cake made and delivered, it cracked more than once and had to be fixed. In the picture I have of it, you can't tell that badly, but I guess it's one of those things, where I knew it wasn't the best I could have done. Anyways, so I had hardly any sleep, wasn't feeling the best because of that and my meds. I did actually get some time to go visit and eat food at a Pampered Chef party, which was pretty sweet. When I got home, we realized Little Miss was sick...she had a fever of 39.6 and there was green goop coming out her nose and eyes. So things were pretty hairy.

You know, I'm at a point where I've got my arms up the air and I'm waving the white flag...I'm screaming, "Enough already...pick someone else to battle, PLEASE!!"

"Our cities look like crumbling hives"

I would like to say that life is very different from when I grew up, but the sad truth is that it's's simply continuing to get worse. I'm not going to list off what all went on in my growing phase. The one thing though, which sticks out in my head to this day...the high school year which was dedicated to three students who had died that year. I had been in the one girl's class throughout junior high and had some classes with her in high school. She hung herself with an extension cord...I don't know that memories like that ever really leave...the sadness felt over this death and trying to process all the "Whys". I wish my kids wouldn't have to deal with what I dealt with, but they will most likely encounter so much worse.

"Man does not live he just survives"

This line took my breath clear away, because during my battles with health, I feel this everyday. I simply try to survive the day, in order to make it to the next one, hoping that each one will be a little better and that eventually, I will be able to regain my strength enough, to actually live life and not simply want survival. I feel jipped some days. I feel like I'm missing out on so much...with my family, my friends, etc. and I don't have very much control over it and that hurts the most. I'm a different person on some of these medications...they alter so much of me, that when I look in the mirror, I see a stranger. I see a stranger, who's tired, down and simply trying to make it through this day with as little of anything as possible, so that they will be able to find their footing for the days which follow that one.

I guess this post is more "Food for Thought" for me, in order to help me process further. There are many verses about rest...many of them have been posted on here. I'm going to end with this one. I like the fact Jesus not only commands rest, but He says to come away with him, by yourself to a quiet place. He doesn't just want us to meet with Him...He wants that meeting to be one of solitude, peace and restoration...truly wants every part of us, not only a portion.

"Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest."
~ Mark 6:31

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Descriptions of Life

Lately, I've been looking at what I penned for the description of this blog and me. I remember back then, it was a hard task to write anything tangible down in either of these areas. Now I look at them, and wonder how much I'm actually measuring up, on a daily basis.

"These are the thoughts and writings of a wife and a mother...who's goal is to walk alongside Christ, through faith and servant hood...wanting be "real" in all aspects of life."

I've learned some pretty valuable lessons the last while, in terms of being 'real in all aspects of life'. Especially when you find out that it hasn't necessarily been your regular practice, this isn't always as easy a feat as what it might seem. It's taken a long time to break down the walls which were up. It's also taken a bit for me to truly accept who I am as a person...that's continuing to be the key to growing towards living 'real' for me. It has indeed been a very special experience, to have people know the 'real' me. Are there days where I'm more withdrawn and closed? Yeah, I think there will always be those times for me. Lately as I've been sick so much, I don't want to burden people with it or appear as someone who's just a walking disease breeder. So, I end up saying, "I'm fine", partly because it's easier than explaining and mainly, because I don't want to dwell on the negative, but instead, continue to press on.

"I'm a wife and a mother who's continuing to learn daily about God's love and direction...and am continuing to learn how to best share his love with those around me and to serve him in the best possible way."

Lately, I'm learning to embrace my roles in this life. I have always felt very blessed through being a wife and a mother, but I'm working hard to have the best attitude inside and out. To not only think about the blessings, but reflect them outwardly, which is something I'm sometimes very guilty of not doing.

I'm learning that I have so much to learn about the blessing of God's love and the power of His direction. His love is beautiful and engulfing, especially when you come to a point of total surrender and allow Him to truly wrap around and fill you completely. The peace which comes from this is breath-taking for me and I don't have words which can adequately describe it.

I think I've learned that I still have a long way to go, in terms of being strong verbally when sharing His love with those around me. My eyes have been opened though, to how much my actions do and do not portray His love. It's sometimes a daily battle for me to live out in a positive aspect vs. a negative. There are those times when it simply feels like 'it doesn't rain, but instead pours'.

I actually am gaining an understanding as to why sometimes 'it doesn't rain, but instead pours' in my life. I've adopted the attitude, that if I continue to plug away at life, things won't seem quite so bad, as then I'm not dwelling on them. A thought which came to me this morning was this...maybe you aren't supposed to just continue to plow through...maybe you're supposed to rest and because you are choosing not to, that is indeed why it feels like things are 'pouring'. Maybe if you simply rested and allowed your body to mend, then things wouldn't have to continue 'pouring' until you get to a breaking point, where there is no other option but to rest.

I am slowly starting to realize that each day is a brand new canvas...each week will hold a variety of game plays, challenges, blessings and realizations. Some will go seamlessly and essentially 'fly by'...others will offer huge challenges, seem to almost stand still in time and take everything you've got, to get through. It's a huge process to learn to see the positive in all things for me, but I'm learning, because that's really the most important thing I'm called to bring to this life...a heart which longs to love with everything, learn and drink in all life has to offer and long to gain all it takes to experience this life to the fullest.

Saturday, February 10, 2007


To those who might be wondering if your eyes are playing tricks on you...that every time you visit my blog, there's a different blog skin appearing. There are no tricks being played...Cindertales has indeed had 4 blog skins the past couple of weeks. Long story that I don't feel like sharing, but anyhow, I think this one MIGHT be a least for a little bit ;D!

A Little Bit of C.S. Lewis

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, "What! You too? I thought I was the only one!"

~ ~ ~

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival."

Friday, February 09, 2007

Life Lessons

** WARNING: This post is ALL over the board. If you email with me or read other posts I put up elsewhere, this will be painfully repetitive.'s all I got in me right now ;D! **

Well, I guess it's been a while since I've been on to update my blog. I've actually came on quite a few times, but just haven't felt up to posting anything. Maybe it's writer block...maybe it's simply because of where life is going right now. I am battling a drug-resistant infection right now and it's taking a lot out of me. The only oral drug left to use is really strong, so we are now simply seeing how my body will react to it and also, as to whether it will rid me of the infection.

I received this message via email the other day and am going to post it, as I thought it offered some pretty good life lessons...

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk..
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

I came upon a scripture earlier in the week, which screamed community to me. I'm closing with it, as I can really feel God's community right now...both in terms of being there for those around me and also in terms of feeling lifted up.

"Joshua did what Moses ordered in order to fight Amalek. And Moses, Aaron, and Hur went to the top of the hill. It turned out that whenever Moses raised his hands, Israel was winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, Amalek was winning. But Moses' hands got tired. So they got a stone and set it under him. He sat on it and Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on each side. So his hands remained steady until the sun went down. Joshua defeated Amalek and its army in battle." (Exodus 10:13, MSG)

Friday, February 02, 2007

Blessings of Refuge

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear..."Be still, and know that I am God;"

~ Psalm 46:1-2(a), 10(a)

This verse was sent to me by a friend. Speaks huge amounts of truth and comfort! I find it interesting, how when you are battling something such as a really persistent illness, or whatever it might be in life, how huge it can become. The result for me of things becoming so huge...I become grumpy, tired, down, clouded in terms of my thinking and really, forget to rely on the one thing I should be...GOD and HIS WORD.

It's a definite blessing, that I have people who pass scripture and encouragement my way, during these times. It brings me back to reality, takes my mind off all that's happening and helps me to refocus. Huge blessings which, often times, seemingly get overlooked.

Thursday, February 01, 2007


Well, I guess I should probably say something, instead of simply posting a huge thing of scripture. I've been thinking a lot about how loved I am and about those around me I love so much. I don't live it enough...but it's there, deep within, even when I'm not sharing it.

This is one of my favorites in the scripture passages department...especially when I need a boost. Yeah, I a lot of times, find direction through this one and a lot of peace. I guess that's all the speaking I'm going to do today. Back to the couch to rest a while longer!

You know, does anyone out there have any good leads on pain relievers? 'Cause, I'm not having success in this department right now, and that really might go a long way in helping my overall 'mood' to improve.

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

~ 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 (MSG)