Monday, February 12, 2007

God Speaks in Many Avenues

Nightmare #71
(Larry Norman)

Last night I had that same old dream it rocked me in my sleep
And left me the impression that the sandman plays for keeps
I dreamed I was in concert in the middle of the clouds
John Wayne and Billy Graham were giving breath mints to the crowds
I fell through a hole in heaven I left the stage for good
And when I landed on the earth I was back in Hollywood

The California earthquake it tore the land in half
While San Andreas cleared her throat I heard tsunami laugh
The ground began to tremble the land began to sway
And people in the other states they were glad they'd moved away
But suddenly California just floated in the breeze
While every state that wasn't sank down into the seas

And soon I saw Atlantis rumble and rise high
And the great egg of Euphrates came down out of the sky
And out stepped Shirley Temple with Guy Kippee who was dead
And that communist Bill Robinson whom Shirley called black red
They have a marionette of Harpo Marx they said it was an inside joke
But when I honked his horn he came alive and these were the words he spoke

"With the continents adrift and the sun about to shift
Will the ice caps drown us all or will we burn
We've polluted what we own will we reap what we have sown?
Are we headed for the end or can we turn?
We've paved the forest killed the streams
Burned the bridges to our dreams
The earth is bursting at the seams
And in pain of childbirth screams
As it gives life to what seems
To either be an age that gleams
Or simply lays there dying
If this goes on will life survive how can it
Out of the grave oh who will save our planet?"

I said I'm pleased to meet you I always thought you were a scream
He said "Have you ever thought of having Helen Keller in your dreams
I said Errol Flynn dropped by but he tried to steal my girl
The she ran off with Ronald Colman said something about a new world
Now I'm stuck with my own cooking hey I'm lonely can't you see
Well he grabbed my leg and said exactly eighty nine words to me
Count them

"Let the proud but dying nation kiss the last generation
It's the year of the pill, age of the gland
We have landed on the moon but we'll clutter that up soon
Our sense of freedom's gotten out of hand
We kill our children swap our wives
We've learned to greet a man with knives
We swallow pills in fours and fives
Our cities look like crumbling hives
Man does not live he just survives
We sleep till he arrives
Love is a corpse we sit and watch it harden
We left it oh so long ago the garden"

The strings snapped briskly then went slack the marionette lay dead
While Hoover played with the motorcade the body slumped and bled
The man who held the camera disappeared into the crowd
I said the hope of youth, fictitious truth, lays covered in a shroud
Then up walked Elmo Lincoln and he said I beg you pardon
But we left it oh so long ago, the garden.

These words were read yesterday...I can't honestly tell you if all of them were read or only a portion, because certain words spoke so powerfully to me, that I missed a lot of others. Thank goodness I had enough brain-power to write down the song...I like Larry Norman's music, even have some of it, but because growing up, I didn't have any access to Christian music, I am only now realizing how powerful his lyrics are.

This part overwhelmed me and had me choking back tears badly...

"We swallow pills in fours and fives
Our cities look like crumbling hives
Man does not live he just survives
We sleep till he arrives
Love is a corpse we sit and watch it harden
We left it oh so long ago the garden"

You see, my life right now is swallowing pills in fours and fives, more than once a day. The reality for me...even when I beat this stupid infection, in order to be proactive, I will be supplementing and that will involve taking pills in threes, fours and fives, more than once a day.

I guess the bottom line was, that anything which could have went wrong this weekend, did. I was paid to decorate a cake and even though I did get the cake made and delivered, it cracked more than once and had to be fixed. In the picture I have of it, you can't tell that badly, but I guess it's one of those things, where I knew it wasn't the best I could have done. Anyways, so I had hardly any sleep, wasn't feeling the best because of that and my meds. I did actually get some time to go visit and eat food at a Pampered Chef party, which was pretty sweet. When I got home, we realized Little Miss was sick...she had a fever of 39.6 and there was green goop coming out her nose and eyes. So things were pretty hairy.

You know, I'm at a point where I've got my arms up the air and I'm waving the white flag...I'm screaming, "Enough already...pick someone else to battle, PLEASE!!"

"Our cities look like crumbling hives"

I would like to say that life is very different from when I grew up, but the sad truth is that it's's simply continuing to get worse. I'm not going to list off what all went on in my growing phase. The one thing though, which sticks out in my head to this day...the high school year which was dedicated to three students who had died that year. I had been in the one girl's class throughout junior high and had some classes with her in high school. She hung herself with an extension cord...I don't know that memories like that ever really leave...the sadness felt over this death and trying to process all the "Whys". I wish my kids wouldn't have to deal with what I dealt with, but they will most likely encounter so much worse.

"Man does not live he just survives"

This line took my breath clear away, because during my battles with health, I feel this everyday. I simply try to survive the day, in order to make it to the next one, hoping that each one will be a little better and that eventually, I will be able to regain my strength enough, to actually live life and not simply want survival. I feel jipped some days. I feel like I'm missing out on so much...with my family, my friends, etc. and I don't have very much control over it and that hurts the most. I'm a different person on some of these medications...they alter so much of me, that when I look in the mirror, I see a stranger. I see a stranger, who's tired, down and simply trying to make it through this day with as little of anything as possible, so that they will be able to find their footing for the days which follow that one.

I guess this post is more "Food for Thought" for me, in order to help me process further. There are many verses about rest...many of them have been posted on here. I'm going to end with this one. I like the fact Jesus not only commands rest, but He says to come away with him, by yourself to a quiet place. He doesn't just want us to meet with Him...He wants that meeting to be one of solitude, peace and restoration...truly wants every part of us, not only a portion.

"Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest."
~ Mark 6:31

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