~ 2 Peter 1:5 (MSG)
I read this scripture passage a few weeks ago...funny thing is that I have a desk calendar which has quotes, jokes and scriptures for each day...when I turned it over to November 13th, this was what was awaiting my inquisitive eyes.
You know, God knows exactly where we're at every moment of the day. He knows our worries, fears, bad habits, laziness, joys, happiness, etc. He knows I've been having trouble with finding time to truly build on what He's given me. He knows I've been struggling with some of those basic things I need as a child of God, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, etc. He knows that when I'm struggling with all that, that sometimes I feel like my back's against the wall and it feels like a hopeless situation.
I find it really sad how down and out I can allow myself to get sometimes. I know deep down what I want to be and what He wants me to be, but instead of letting Him do the leading, I seem to continually try and do it myself. It's a continual work-in-progress...I guess that's not a bad thing to have growing room, molding capability.
I've been finding the past month that sometimes, in order to be able to build on what you've been given, that you have to make some hard choices and changes. I've taught Sunday School or been in the nursery for as long as I can possibly remember. I love the kids and enjoy trying to bring a 'new' sense of teaching to the classroom. I don't like to do the same old, same old with the teaching of the Bible...I want the kids to be excited and to make the Bible truly come alive in their eyes. Today I wrote a letter saying that at the end of December I will be stepping down from teaching. I don't know if it will be for good or for a season, but I do know that I need to scale things down, listen hard to God and where He's leading and simply rest in His strength, peace, love, encouragement and grace.
My hope is that as I begin to gain my strength and peace back, that my spirit and joy will begin to come 'alive' again. That I will begin to search out and obtain passionate patience in every aspect of my life, that warm friendliness will radiate to others from my inner most being, that I will love with generosity like never before and that I'll begin to become more alert, knowledgeable and reverent in my walk with Christ.
Does that make the hard decisions and choices any easier? No, but it does breathe a breathe of peace and comfort through my mind and soul as the decisions are made and as the uncertainties with my mom continue on. What I have come to realize the last little while is this...life isn't predictable, may not always be easy, fun or what we might expect it to be...but He's always with us, walking right alongside, ready and willing to carry us and guide us, celebrate with us, grieve with us, just simply be there with us every second of every single day. It's precious and we sadly take it for granted a lot of days. We figure there's tomorrow to try again, but we don't know what number of days we have and shouldn't be putting things off for yet another day.
His love is precious and our immediate obedience is essential. We need to be constantly growing and being the best we can be for Him. I am ending with how a friend 'tags' all their emails...it speaks volumes to a lot of aspects of life and our Christian walk...I simply like what it speaks!
there is nothing predictable about a rushing wind...