Monday, April 23, 2007

A Life for the Living

This is a picture from our old stomping grounds of so long ago. I'm making a 'flying' trip up there tonight and will be back tomorrow morning to take Mr. Cinder to work, teach school and live out a 'typical' Tuesday in the life of the Cinder household.

As I go, I'm having a lot of thoughts run through my mind. It's partly where I'm at and what I'm experiencing I'm sure. I haven't been on this venue to write much, mostly because of how I explained it to someone..."that I'm worried about the fact I sometimes seem bipolar or with my back up against the wall." The bottom-line is that I haven't felt very creative lately and any time I've had free, I've wanted to spend with the people around me.

I'm doing a lot of soul-searching and that seemingly amounts to many changes when I do it. Change isn't a bad thing, especially when it's coming at the following of His prompting. I'm trying hard to be more aware of each and everything I do in my life. Every moment is precious...even those ones which are spent in thought and quiet reflection. They all count towards something eternal and for that reason, I'm really surveying things to make sure I'm living with the right condition of the heart.

Anyhow, I know that driving a ton for a pretty short period of time seems really weird and crack-potty to a lot of people. But for me, it will be an awesome time of being with Him and enjoying His beauty as I drive through His creation. It will also allow me time to be with an awesome friend whom I miss so dearly. We can be apart for months and when together, it seems we never were apart at all. This will be a time of drinking that all in and hopefully finding strength to endure this continuing battle of illness with a much better strength and positive attitude than I have fought with up to this point.

I told someone this week that my motto in this life is to give to everyone who crosses my path. To give my friendship, my heart, my support and whatever else I'm supposed to do in each situation. This is so hard sometimes, because giving of yourself opens you up to a lot of pain and heartache. But to live a guarded life I think would supply me with even more heartache and pain.

I'm thankful today for where I'm at and where He'll eventually take me. My life may not be perfect...I may not be perfect...but it's a blessing to go through life living each moment, instead of simply watching them all fly by.


audrey` said...

I'm so blessed to be one of your friends.
Thank you so much, Jay.

Cinder said...

And I too am blessed to be one of your friends...thank you Audrey!