Eyes Fixed on Him

A daily devotional and prayer time with God...I've struggled to obtain a concreted one in the first 13 years of my walk. I don't really know why...I know when I first became a Christian, I started out reading right from the beginning...our pastor talked about this in church a few weeks ago and I had to laugh because he was so dead on the mark...about how you get through the first couple of books and then you hit Leviticus and Numbers and you get really bogged down...that was a real understatement for how I felt in those books for the first time! No one told me where to start...when I was first married, it was a struggle, as I was so sick (pregnancy induced) that first year and then was sleep-deprived for the next few after that, while growing our family!

So what have I done to change this? I came to the realization that I needed to fill my life with his word if I expected to grow closer to Him! In the last few years, I have started bringing my Bible in the van...when my kids were in public school, I got a lot of Bible reading done while waiting for them after school. I read a lot when we are travelling on the highway...when my hubby's driving of course! In the the last few years though, I've longed for that stronger relationship with Him...I've tried a few different reading programs and am currently in one which allows me to read from 7 different parts of the Bible in a year...my goal is to have it completed in a year....the last couple of years, I've almost made it...this year I plan on being successful!

My prayer life just kind of grew as I grew in him...that's the part which has always kind of been there. My problem is that I don't always speak my prayers...somedays I journal them...I have a few prayer journals...one for a praying mom, one which is a devotional and a prayer journal and then a plain journal that I write freely in. This may seem silly, but I have a prayer box...I read it somewhere, that to allow you to carve the time, this allows some starting points throughout your day. I have topics in there, such as my current church (vision, etc.), the pastoral staff, the families of the church, the ministries of the church, the board, my province, country and the government, my family (both saved and unsaved), my friends (both saved and unsaved), my kids and their future, my husband in many aspects and myself in many aspects. Do I always use this as my prayer avenue? No, I have most of my times where I'm in a quiet place talking with him about what's on my heart and what he prompts, but it does allow an opportunity on those hairy days to pick a few cards and pray for the contents, plus then just talking time with God.

I've learned a lot in the last 7 months about learning to discern God's voice, through all the static and interference you often hear. I listened to a lot of Casting Crowns music on my travels this summer...I travelled between two cities for a little over a month, as we waited for our house to sell and I wrapped things up at my job with our former church. Some of their songs spoke to me heavily...I'm going to quote part of one and also one of the scriptures they gave with the song...it has really helped me in knowing that some of the decisions made in the past months have been the correct ones...I'm so amazingly at peace right now, which is definitely the amazing part of surrendering all aspects of life to him!

Voice of Truth
Casting Crowns (from Casting Crowns), 2003

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again, "Boy'll, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

2 Corinthians 12:7-10
To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given to me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.