Tuesday, April 18, 2006


I don't know how things were for y'all, but for me this was an amazing weekend...full of celebration, time with family and friends, R & R, fun and a lot of reflection. My head's starting to hurt from all the reflection (it's probably also from the 4 hour drive yesterday with my tired kids...they woke up at 6am and that's not a good time for them!) My sister and I each savored the taste of an ice-chilling Tim Horton's ice cap on our travels yesterday...I gave up Tim's ice caps for Lent and so my sister did too, as since the move, we tend to go indulge our Tim's habit together! I realized something important during this Lenten season...when I get stressed and in a state of feeling overwhelmed, I don't always turn to God in prayer, I will a lot of times turn elsewhere to 'numb' the pain and stress! This Lent, I was forced to face many problems and issues head-on with God, instead of just simply sweeping them under the rug and ignoring them. I am so grateful for what I have learned each year since I started partaking in giving something up for Lent...it truly does cause you to turn your eyes towards Christ and focus on Him in a clearer and stronger way!

We went to Good Friday service at our 'old' church. It's been 3 months since we've been back and some people we haven't seen since we left in September. It was exciting to walk in and just pick back up with friends and begin Easter celebrations with them. I fielded a lot of questions, as to how things are going...last time we were there, I was still having some hardships with depression issues and truly coming to terms head-on with everything. It was good to see the smiles as I let people know that things are going really good and that the city and church are 'home' now. I revealed to a friend something I haven't really let out of the bag, but that I think played a huge part in the hardships. At first things were truly difficult for me, until I surrendered everything to God and realized that He would show me the light at the end of the tunnel in due time. As I did start to make connections, serving in ministry and enjoying them both, I felt an extreme amount of guilt and role as a betrayer. It didn't take long to be here, to realize how much I loved the church we're now at and what a perfect fit it is for our family. I felt like I was betraying my 'old' friends by beginning to 'do life together' with my new church family and friends. I knew they were moving on and probably weren't feeling any guilt, but it was something I couldn't shake for a while. I loved seeing my 'old' church family and friends this weekend and also attending the church I did for 19 years of my life, but I am so glad that I'll be back worshipping at 'home' this weekend...that's a really good place for me to have gotten!

My friend ended off the Good Friday service by saying he wanted everyone to try and take a few minutes between Good Friday and Easter Sunday to just simply sit back and think about everything God's done for you and what you have to be thankful for. It was a great lesson that for me went past Sunday, into yesterday and will probably continue on, as I'm realizing that when you have a mindset of thankfulness about you, things don't seem to be nearly as bad. As I sat back and looked at where God has brought me this last year, I was brought to a place of humbleness and also felt a huge amount of gratefulness. My mom is doing well, despite all the health issues going on, I have family members drawing closer to knowing God...some of them are ones which I didn't think I'd ever see this happen with, my marriage is stronger than it's ever been and we are more in love than we've ever been (I didn't know what our marriage would be after this move...I honestly didn't know if we would survive the stress and strain which came our way this fall), our family is stronger in so many ways. The biggest change has been in me...I am vastly different than I was last year or even 7 months ago. I have found an inner strength that I knew was deep inside somewhere, but that I've never really had to draw on. I've drawn closer to God and finally felt what it's like to truly surrender and rest in Him. So many more things have happened, but what I'm feeling the strongest right now is a sense of contentment and reassurance in knowing that stepping out in faith is the only way to go. He'll never fail you, He's always there (even when you might not be able to feel His presence) and He'll never leave you.

I'm excited to see where God's going to lead me, my family, my church, my friends, my city, etc. this next year and am just so thankful for the reassurance of knowing that no matter what comes my way...good or bad...He is there and He's never leaving and that He's all I need to get through whatever comes my way!

Colossians 2:6-7
You received Christ Jesus as Lord. So keep on living in him. Have your roots in him. Build yourselves up in him. Grow strong in what you believe, just as you were taught. Be more thankful than ever before.


Kc said...

He knows just how to bless us in spite of ourselves. ;-)

There is so much wisdom in what you said. When we fail to count the many blessings in our life we open the door for the deciever. May we all remember that He is with us in adversity and not only that, but that He even blesses us in it.

Corry said...

I just posted a list of blessings and while doing that I realised again how much He loves us!

Thanks for sharing this with us, it's something I should do more often: sit back and consider His love, grace and mercy:-)

God's Grace.

audrey` said...

Yes, you're right Cinder.
Jesus will never leave nor forsake us.
In God we trust!

Cinder said...

Kc ~ It's such an amazing feeling to know that He knows how to bless us...Amen! It's a really good practice to get into...that we never lose sight of the fact He's always with us and blesses us through everything...good times or adverse ones.

Corry ~ Taking time to sit back and look at our blessings in life is definitely something we should do more often...I know I don't do it nearly as often as I should!

Audrey ~ Praise God that He will never leave or forsake us!