Friday, May 12, 2006

Hello God...Are You There?

I have purchased a couple of Study Bibles, which actually approach the Bible in two vastly different ways. The Women of Faith Study Bible goes through case studies of different women in the Bible, has weekly Bible studies throughout it and then has different authors who speak on different portions of the scriptures or just give their quotes and reflections...these are on each page throughout. There was a quote from Luci Swindoll in the Psalms which I came upon and it really hit close to home with all the reflection I've been doing.

"I've always believed that those who want to know God's will can know it...I think God has straightforward ways to lead his children:

1. His Word. The Bible is very definitive about the responsibility of a disciple of Christ.

2. Circumstance. God opens some doors and closes others.

3. Wise counsel. Proverbs 13:10 tells us, "Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice."

And consider this as a rule of thumb: God never calls without enabling us. In other words, if he calls you to do something, he makes it possible for you to do it."

This quote got me thinking in a lot of ways...especially the last line of it. For some people when they get called by God to go on an exciting mission, they are "pumped". I just made a blanket assumption that I would be too...I was blind-sided with a bag of emotions which I didn't expect to come. The last line is such a great rule of thumb...He isn't going to call you somewhere or to do something and then just leave you to figure things out on your own and either sink or swim. I know this deep down inside...I know He's going to open the doors that need to be opened and I know He's going to equip me in what He thinks the best way is. I know this because He's the one true constant in my life...I know He will never fail me and I know His will is the only way, because it's perfectly chosen for each of us.

I was prompted to loook up anxiety and inadequate in the dictionary this morning, as I have been feeling a lot of these the last little while:

anxiety: 1
uneasy thoughts or fears about what may happen, a troubled, worried, or uneasy feeling. 2eager desire

inadequate: not adequate; not enough; not as much as is needed

What came to me was've been called on a journey of faith...I'm with you every step of the way and want the very best for you, so why are you having the feelings in's going to be an amazing should be feeling #2. Once I committed to God that I would go missional, I felt at peace and secure in the decision I'd committed to and I felt "eager desire", but then once I got the concrete "yes, you are going", I was flooded with a whole other set of emotions which I didn't expect to have.

In some people's eyes I might just be a stay-at-home mother who teaches her kids. I've always felt at times depending on the situation or people placed along my path that because of what I've chosen to do in my life, I've short-changed myself. That I'm below them in terms of education/knowledge or limited in experience or views on life. This hasn't happened in a long time, but it's amazing how we allow things to stick sometimes and how you forget about them, but long down the road, they come back to be a hindrance. I'm really dealing with this head-on right now...the voice speaking to me which says, "You can't really expect that you're the one to go on this can't possibly think you're equipped enough...good enough."

My response to that voice today is this, "I'm exactly where God wants me to be in all aspects of my life. He will provide me with everything I need, will open the doors which need opened and will be beside me every step of the way...whispering directions, guidance, encouragement, etc. exactly when I need it. I may not know how everything will go or why things progress the way they do sometimes, but I know it's perfectly planned out by Him and because of that I will follow...He never fails me...He's always there...He'll never leave me...things will happen exactly like they're supposed to!"

I'm thinking this reflection is coming on partly because of the missional decision and probably also because of Mother's Day coming up. Some people told me I was too young when I became a mother and made me to believe that I wouldn't be able to handle the responsibility and know how to adequately do the job...I was early in my twenties...and to me, I've always looked on life as a continual learning curve, so why should parenthood be any different! When as a young mother, I sat holding that precious blessing from God, did I think I knew it all? NO...I knew that that little life had been entrusted to me and that's scary, but in that moment I knew that He would provide me with everything I needed to take care of that little person and to mold them into the child of God that they are supposed to be. Did I think it would be a breeze? NO...I know from my parent's experience with me that it's not, but He's there to help you, even when the times are really tough. Anyone who thinks that being a spouse and a parent aren't the most important ministries that you can ever take you I say this. They are the most important ministries...besides God, they need to be a close matter where you go, what you are called to do, it's your family who will support you, who will be with you...never lose sight of it and don't take it for granted...things can change in an instant...cherish every moment and just be's truly the most amazing blessing!

The main thing which has come to me through my reflection time doesn't matter what roles you play in this life...if I want someone to do something, I'm going to call them, regardless of what "boxes" and "roles" they have in this society. Does it feel lonely when you are called to step out of the box...yes, but when you do step out in faith, He's always with you and will surround you with support, so you're never alone! I'm ending this off with the verse which God provided me this fall and I now fall back on in countless situations...He definitely puts verses in our hearts and mind for a purpose!

Jeremiah 29:11-14a (NIRV)
11"I know the plans I have for you," announces the Lord. "I want you to enjoy success. I do not plan to harm you. I will give you hope for the years to come. 12Then you will call out to me. You will come and pray to me. And I will listen to you. 13When you look for me with all your heart, you will find me. 14"I will be found by you," announces the Lord. "


Corry said...

Another great post!
Cinder, you always have such a wonderful way of writing and expressing exactly what needs to be said to make me think, or what I needed to hear.

Thanks for sharing yourself with us. It's encouraging to know we are not alone, but all struggling. It's even more of an encouragement to know that we are there for eachother in and through that struggle:-)

God's Grace.

¤•*˚*` i§ãßê||ë '*˚*•¤ said...

hello aunty cinder.

i'm audrey's daughter.

audrey` said...

Hi Cinder :)

Wishing you a very Blessed Mother's Day!
God bless you!

Jayleigh said...

Cinder... always with the amazing posts, you! Every time I come here, I am particularly blessed because it seems as though I am going through the same internal struggles.

Thank you so much for sharing.


Happy Mother's Day!

Corry said...

Happy Mother's Day, Cinder. God bless you and yours:-)

God's Grace.

Cinder said...

Corry ~ Thanks...I'm really glad that I'm able to speak some words of encouragement or something which makes you want to think. What you say about it being encouraging to know we're not alone...very true and the most important thing is knowing that we are there for each other throughout the struggles of life...Praise God to that one!

God bless you ;D !

Isabelle ~ Thanks so much for stopping is a surprise. I've already been over to visit your blog...stop by anytime you wish!

God bless you ;D !

Audrey ~ Thanks so much...I did have a great Mother's Day!

God bless you ;D !

Jayleigh ~ Thank you so much for your encouragement...I'm blessed as well when I come over to your blog. It's funny how in life it's encouraging to know we're not alone or the only one going through a struggle...the most important thing is knowing that we are there for each other throughout the struggles of life...Praise God to that one!


God bless you Jay ;D !