Have you ever watched kids
You better slow down.
Do you run through each day
When the day is done
You'd better slow down
Ever told your child,
Ever lost touch,
You'd better slow down.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
Life is not a race.
I received this in an email from a college friend. This speaks so much of what society today had made life out to be. And as I sit here and type, I'm ashamed in knowing that I've completely and totally bought into it. I came home this summer, from the most awesome experiences and it should have been life-changing...it will be in time. But right now, I'm SO tired and just feel like I have no peace in my life. I just want quiet...from the noise of life, from the stuff screaming at me in my head and just from life in general. I go to sleep tired and I wake up tired. Life's passing me by and I'm missing it, because it's a huge blur!
The sad truth is, that because I've bought into this whole rat race, I don't even think I know how to slow down and gain a true sense of peace and hear the music. I have no clue what's around that next corner, but still I play with fire and put faith in the fact that there's got to be more days.
I just want to live my life with purpose, peace and know that I'm living exactly where and how I'm supposed to. But for some reason, right now I've completely lost sight of what that purpose is. I look in the mirror and hardly recognize the person looking back at me. I look deep inside of myself and right now, it frankly scares me! How do you even attempt to share what's going on inside, when you don't even understand it yourself? When you don't want to bring this burden onto someone else's shoulders? Maybe deep down, it's a pride thing...not wanting people to truly know how bad things sometimes get.
Once things are going more smoothly, my goal is to try and "schedule" quarterly retreats for me and God. To examine where I am and where I need to be going. The most important thing...to live more like Matthew challenges us to and simply to be true, to allow people to see how messed up I sometimes am and to know that despite that, most of us will continue to stand together and be in the gap for each other when it's needed.
1-2 When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds, he climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to him, the committed, climbed with him. Arriving at a quiet place, he sat down and taught his climbing companions. This is what he said:
3"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
4"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.
5"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.
6"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.
7"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.
8"You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
9"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.
10"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.
11-12"Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.