You with those sad eyes
But I see your true colors shining through
Show me your smile
I last saw you laughing
And I see your true colors shining through
And I see your true colors shining throughI see your true colors
Your true colors are beautiful
I know this song has been sung by a variety of people, but the version I have is by the Season 2 Canadian Idol finalists. This was a song which I listened to a lot while away on our trip...while I have it playing now on my MP3 player, I can see different places flying by in my head of hill country and coming into Colombo.
This song, along with a bag of Jollybeggar's Sour Skittles, became the inspiration for a sharing time with the children on the last Sunday we were in Sri Lanka. It's interesting for me to see how God works through the simplest of avenues to get His message across. I was given the general direction of the sermon to be given and I had absolutely nothing pop into my head, in terms of speaking with the kids about. Then as I stood on the balcony of our hotel, listening to this song and thinking of the last bag of Sour Skittles available for my use, my head started to flow with ideas. See for me, that's how it comes...I can be completely empty and then in an instance be completely overcome with a head full of ideas and/or visions.
That day I talked with the kids about how looks are sometimes deceiving...the Sour Skittles appear to be "sweets", but when you pop those things in your mouth, you are completely taken by surprise. They make your mouth pucker, because they essentially have a "costume" (or a mask) on...once you get past the cover, you get to the sweet part of the treat and then experience their true colors. We talked that day about how God doesn't want us wearing masks or costumes and that He wants us to live our lives showing our true colors. If we aren't showing our true colors, then we're really not being true to God.
For me it was a really rich time, as I gave it to God and said, "It's about you, not me...work through me and speak what you want spoken!" I was just there as an instrument of voice that day. And as in many aspects of the trip, I took away more than I brought...I told the kids that from now on, whenever I eat Sour Skittles, I will remember them...their faces as they ate them on many occasions, just the innocence which shines through their beautiful faces. I told them that they were like a rainbow to me...just like the Skittles together make up a beautiful rainbow and just like we together make up the body of Christ.
This whole time of sharing with them served as a very poignant reminder to me...if I'm going to tell it to others, then I need to make sure I'm living it. I've lived very far from what my true colors are in many ways for a long time. I've struggled with relationally putting myself out there, inviting people into my home to have pure times of fellowship and make friendships, simply not being ashamed of who I truly am. Part of it is, that when you can't necessarily find people with which you have common areas of life with, it becomes harder to relate to each other. In my life, I often find myself changing to meet the molds of those around me, because it's simply much easier to lose sight of my true colors, than to show them and risk living with loneliness in this life.
I guess the question posed is this? Is it better to live a lonelier life, but be who you truly are than to live a fallacy or only a portion of who you are, instead of allowing people to experience the whole package? I'm going to be trying harder to live out my true colors...it's really easier said than done, but that's my game plan. That's the person my family and people really close to me know and love, and it should be the only Cinder people get to experience, know and love.
As I have began to be more like myself and actually am reaquainting with the "true" me, my head's began to flow with "visions" and is full, where for a while it was really empty. I think that's why I relate so much with this song...when you lose sight of who you are and start living differently, it makes you sad, lonely, crazy and allows life to not be fun and feel really unbearable and sometimes not worth living. I've experienced all those realms and it's now causing to me to sit back and take notice, and to truly think about what I need to change. I cannot express how it feels to have my head "full" again...I love to write down what God places inside and it then becomes a time of deciding what needs to be done with what He brings to me. I will elaborate more later on, but I'm excited about some of the ideas which are great ways of bringing my kids full force into missions here on their mission field and so much more!!
Blessings and love to you as you live out this day and the remainder of this week...God's peace and love be with you!