Monday, September 11, 2006

One Year Ago...

As I woke up this morning, I was flooded with a variety of emotions. This day serves as a reminder of the innocent people who lost their lives 5 years ago and how that changed many lives forever. This is also the 1st anniversary of being in our home and city. Today has been a day of reflection into where God has brought us and why this was exactly how things were supposed to play out. I did reflect a little on 9/11, freedom, etc., but instead of putting the same post two places, that post can be found at northVUs. I wrote this Cindertales post yesterday and posted it, but then took it off and chose to wait until later on today to repost it.

Find Yourself
by Brad Paisley

When you find yourself in some far off place
and it causes you to rethink some things
You start to sense that slowly you're becoming someone else
And then you find yourself...

When you make new friends in a brand new town
and you start to think about settling down
The things that would have been lost on you are now clear as a bell
And you find yourself,
yeah that's when you find yourself

Well you go through life
so sure of where you're headed
And you wind up lost
and its the best thing that could have happened
Cause sometimes when you lose your way, its really just as well
because you find yourself,
yeah that's when you find yourself.

When you meet the one, that you've been waiting for
and she's (he's) everything, that you want and more
You look at her (him) and you finally start to live for someone else
And then you find yourself,
yeah that's when you find yourself

Well you go through life
so sure of where we're headed
And you wind up lost
and its the best thing that could have happened
Cause sometimes when you lose your way, its really just as well
Because you find yourself,
Yeah that's when you find yourself.

As I sit here typing, I'm brought back to where I was at this time on Sept. 10th/05. We were broaching the last hour of packing a moving truck, surrounded by friends who we had "did life together" with for the few years. I was a basketful of emotions...choking back tears, sadness, anger, anxiety, fear of the unknown, etc., yet I knew God had a plan and I needed to have faith in that and follow His lead. On the 11th, we spent our last day with friends, kicking off the start of a new ministry year which we wouldn't be a part of. Driving into a new city, only knowing a handful of people, not knowing what lay ahead...met and surrounded by what would be our "new" family.

This has been our home for a year tomorrow and as I joked with someone, we are now switching things up...time to change the furniture layout, jack hammer out the sidewalk and build a new one, take down some trees, do some painting, etc. It took a long time for this to feel like home to me. It's not been an easy road the last year, but as I look back, no matter what I might have thought one year ago, this is exactly where we were supposed to come.

Does that mean things are always easy and I feel that way everyday? No...I still have days where I miss people and wish I could just get in the car and drive 5 minutes to see them vs. 2 1/2 hours. I still have difficulty putting myself out there, which causes problems in really getting past surface relationships with people. But, that will pass and things will continue to grow in exactly the way they're supposed to.

A friend had asked us if we would be coming to our "old" church to attend the kickoff Sunday. At first I thought it would be a good way to see a lot of people, as most would be there for that event. Then I found out I was on for worship singing and as I thought on what to do, I heard a still small voice saying, "This weekend's the anniversary of being here a year...bring it in with your immediate church family, not the extended one." We had the most amazing worship service this morning and weekend in general. I walked away knowing we brought this weekend in exactly where we were supposed to be.

I feel like I'm finally beginning to find some of the pieces of myself, which I lost sight of the past year. We just recently saw the Disney movie "Cars" with our kids and I loved the music, partly because it was performed by some of my favorite stars, some of the songs are my favorites and they speak volumes of this last year. Our family has been on a huge journey...last year at this time I didn't think we would make it through together, but God, as always, knew exactly what we were made of. Does it mean that life is peachy and there aren't any battles, etc.? No, but we are stronger than ever, despite all that's going on and are excited for this next year to be upon us and to see what it holds.

These songs describe so much of this year, so that's why they have their place in this post. Despite the battles, the chaos of life, the noise that's inadvertently there and other things, having the love of your family, enjoying growing together, drawing closer in a church which feels like it will be one we're at for a very long time and being in love more than ever after 10 years of marriage...life may not be perfect and happy-go-lucky all the time, but these things are what life's about and it ROCKS!!

Blessings to you and yours...;D !

Life is a Highway
by Rascal Flatts

Life's like a road that you travel on
When there's one day here and the next day gone
sometimes you bend and sometimes you stand
Sometimes you turn your head to the wind
There's a world outside ev'ry darkened door
Where blues won't haunt you anymore
Where brave are free and lovers soar
Come ride with me to the distant shore
We won't hesitate
Break down the garden's gate
There's not much time left today

Life is a highway
I wanna ride it all night long
If you're going my way
I wanna drive it all night long

Through all these cities and all these towns
It's in my blood and it's all around
I love you now like I loved you then
This is the road and these are the hands
From Mozambique to those Memphis nights
The khyber Pass to Vancouver's lights

Knock me down get back up again
You're in my blood
I'm not a lonely man (woman)
There's no load I can't hold
Road so rough this I know
I'll be there when the light comes in
Just tell 'em we're survivors

Gimme gimme gimme gimme yeah
If you're going my way
I wanna drive it all night long
There was a distance between you and I
A misunderstanding once
But now we look in the eye

There ain't no load that I can't hold
Road so rough this I know
I'll be there when the light comes in
Just tell 'em we're survivors

Life is a highway
I wanna ride it all night long
If you're going my way
I wanna drive it all night long

2 comments:

audrey` said...

Life Is A Highway...

It's my second time this week to chance upon it. Thanks, Cinder =)

Cinder said...

You're very welcome Audrey! I hope you have a blessed rest of the week ;D