Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Cinder's Whine...

The song below came on as I was finishing up teaching Little Mister today. You know, some Christian music I can listen to and some I can't, but Mark Shultz is one of those that I can definitely listen to at ease.

With the whole surrender to God, I don't know that I have actually caught on to the act of surrendering things to Him. I know it's a dangerous practice, as then I open myself up to attempting things on my own, yet again, and that just leads to disaster in a variety of forms. I'm trying hard, but for a variety of reasons, it's not completely happening.

The bottom-line...right now I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't bringing me down. I've entered this week, completely backing out of all my commitments, as I don't have the energy to do them. In the same sense, I don't easily tell people the extent to which I'm feeling sick, as I have so many friends who are a lot sicker than me and I want them lifted up as much as humanly possible. It's frustrating, especially since it ends up coloring all aspects of life and that's not a good thing in any light. So this week will most likely hold another date with the doctor and more meds which seem to not work.

One thing that won't change...I do love Him more than anything in this world and am blessed because His presence. I guess the key right now, is simply embracing His love, resting in His presence and knowing that He never places things before us which we can't handle or overcome.


Broken & Beautiful
(Mark Shultz, Broken and Beautiful)

There’s a businessman
There’s a widowed wife
There’s a smiling face with a shattered life
There’s a teenage girl with a choice to make
It’s crowded here in church today

And the preacher says as the sermon ends
Please close your eyes and bow your heads
Is there anyone in need of prayer
Jesus wants to meet you here
‘cause we all fall short
We all have sinned
But when you let God’s Grace break in…

(Chorus)
It’s beautiful
Beautiful
Come as you are
Surrender your heart
Broken and beautiful

Well he’d never been to church before
But he came today as a last resort
His world was crashing in
And he was suffocating in his sin

But tears ran down
As hope rushed in
He closed his eyes
Raised his hands
Worshiping the God who can
Bring him back to life again

(Chorus)

Cause there’s nothing more beautiful to God
Than when his sons and daughters come
Broken
Alleluia
Alleluia
Come as you are
Alleluia
Alleluia
Come as you are

(Chorus)

Alleluia
Alleluia
Come as you are
(Come as you are)
Surrender your heart
Broken and beautiful

Alleluia
Alleluia
Come as you are
(Come as you are)
Surrender your heart
Broken and beautiful

4 comments:

Jayleigh said...

I just got this CD for Rob on Saturday. An un-birthday present if you will. (It was my birthday weekend, and yet I bought him presents!)

I adore this song. God is so awesome. I'm broken. He thinks I'm beautiful! YAY!

curious servant said...

"...draw near..."

SocietyVs said...

Enjoy your time with the people around you and don;t let your faith become encumbered by 'a duty to serve' - it's your duty to be a human 'being'. I guess I am asking - is religion making the situation easier or harder?

Cinder said...

Jayleigh ~ I don't have the CD, but we do get a Contemporary Christian station which I sometimes have on. I, too, sometimes buy Mr. Cinder and my kidlets presents on my birthday weekend...I don't want them to feel left out.

Curious Servant ~ I'm trying hard to draw near...I know that's what I need to do.

Society ~ Hey there...honestly, right now this isn't even a religion issue. It's a health issue and it's beginning to beat down on my faith, as I continue to struggle to have enough energy to simply make it through the day.

I shouldn't be complaining though, as many people are a lot sicker than I am. I think, though, as a person who usually has a high pain tolerance, it becomes a battle, especially when the pain becomes higher than the tolerance.

Right now, religion is actually making the situation easier for me. The body is wrapping around me with love and support. They aren't pushing me to serve, exactly the opposite. The body I worship in, places huge emphasis on your time being with your family and the people around you. They guard your time, especially in my case, where I don't do a good job in this area.

The church isn't stopping me from performing and functioning in my duties as a human being. Being sick is stopping that right now. My faith being encumbered...that's happening as a result of not being able to rid my body of an infection and beginning to come to a point of exhausting some treatment measures. It's scary when you're barely into your 30's and you are already resistant to meds. Doesn't bode well for the next 60 years, does it?