Friday, January 13, 2006

Whom Therefore God Has Joined Together, Let No Any Man Put Assunder

Three posts in three days...that won't always happen! Why this post? I'm feeling extremely fortunate to have my man by my side...he was handpicked by God for me and I love him more everyday! The words in my title were probably the most traditional things about our parents had this end their ceremony and I stood my ground for it to end mine as well. The one thing which blew people away, was the fact that before my sweetie would propose to me, he drove to my parents house and asked their permission to marry me. That was considered extremely "old-fashioned" in our time, but man did it make me feel special and extremely loved and cared for! It showed who he truly was to my parents...he sent them a letter afterwards, thanking them for allowing him to marry me...I've never seen that letter, but I know it concreted in my parents minds how strong his love and devotion truly was for me!

When we got married, the norm was to purchase invitations, etc. We got someone to take pictures of us and our rings, got them put on CD and made our own invitations...before digital cameras. Made our own wedding programs, my mom and grandma insisted on making our cake...the bakery decorated that. I altered and wore my mom's dress, but made my own sweetie and my sister came with me to make sure the alterations were all, did we hear about that one, seeing me in my dress and all...oh no, what will we do! There were 6 weddings that day, so we had our pictures taken before the ceremony...heard about that as well! We didn't use the traditional wedding music...I walked down the aisle to "Jesus in Your Eyes" by Julie and Buddy Miller (an amazing song from an amazing singer), our wedding party came into "Jesu, Joy" by Bach (my favorite composer...I'm a romantic at heart), so when we left the church, we found "Jesu, Joy" played by the Bowker Brothers (two amazing Christian pianists), left in a 60's convertible with a hooga horn and stopped at 7-11 for Big Gulps on the way back to the hotel for a quick rest in between things! (Boy, did the 7-11 staff have deer-in-the-headlight looks when our whole wedding party walked in...dressed in our wedding attire of course!). That was the other thing...we only had two people stand up for us and then had a ring bearer and flower girl...we didn't want a big performance, we just wanted to start our life together...never have wanted a ton of attention! Driving home with the wedding gifts and some of my "old" furniture for the new house...the mirror for the dresser, which we thought was tied down good, somehow broke loose, flew through the air like a huge frisbee over one car and landed on the highway in front of my sister and our best man's car...went to see what was left and found nothing but a lot of little toothpicks! Some of our superstitious relatives flipped about the bad luck we would receive...we're not superstitious, so we've just used it as a joke factor throughout the's tended to lighten the mood during some of those bumpy roads!

Why did I decide to blog this? I was reading an on-line magazine "Marriage Uncensored" the other day. Marriage Uncensored is actually a ministry of FamilyLife Canada...their website is ...I promote FamilyLife's ministries anytime I can...they are an amazing organization. Anyhow, I'm going to print a part of the article where they quoted The Times and Stats Canada, talking about how people no longer feel the need to have "To death do us part" as part of their vows and also that a majority of Canadians would not feel the need to stay married if they weren't happy. That really alarmed me...marriage at times can be a roller coaster ride...everything in life has it's ups and downs, but to give up and not ride it out, just because you're not're not guaranteed happiness by walking away! Here's the quotes:

"A recent article in The Times newspaper reports that, increasingly, modern brides are exchanging traditional "till death do us part" vows in favour of more realistic alternatives. Recognizing that a lifelong marriage to one person is becoming more and more uncommon, young couples are using phrases like, "I promise to be loyal as long as love lasts," or "until our time together is over," to encapsulate their commitment - such as it is. This is not a fringe movement, either. One wedding planner claims she can't remember the last time a couple promised to stay together until death separates them. As Sharon Naylor, author of Your Special Wedding Vows , explains, "(Couples today) understand that you do not make a promise you cannot keep."

A 1998 Statistics Canada study found that a majority of Canadians would not remain married if they were unhappy. A full 60% of Canadians believe that divorce is the best solution for couples who can't work out their marriage problems.(1) In fact, only one third of Canadian women say they would stay married if they weren't happy."

You know...I was a young bride, in my very early twenties...but I knew what I was doing and was ready to take the "plunge" forever, regardless of what played out, as I knew my sweetie was handpicked by God for me and that with him in control of it, we'd be great together no matter what! After we said our vows, we then pledged our faith to each other...I'm so glad we said it the way we did. Three-quarters of our wedding attenders didn't know Christ, so I guess you could say that we wanted our wedding to be a "subliminal" message to people...people let us know right from the day and even months after, that our wedding caused them to think, was different than most they attended (in a good way). We were glad for was a celebration of our start together and we wanted everyone to know we were together FOREVER...what an AMAZING ride it's been!

"I take you to be my wedded wife/husband, to live together according to the pattern of God's Holy Word. I will love and cherish you, honor and sustain you, in sickness and in health. I pledge myself to be true and loyal to you until the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, or until God separates us by death."

Mr. Cinder...I'm yours forever and always and I wouldn't have it any other way!


Jackie said...

It sounds like you have an amazing marriage.
John and I along with my siter and his brother (our small wedding party) went to 7/11 after we had pictures taken the day we got married. It was the hottest day of the summer and believe me my DR. Pepper slushy hit the spot. We were in our wedding attire too. When we went up to the counter to pay John, Gary and Fran all looked at me and one of them asked if I had any money to pay. Of course my wedding dress didn't have any pockets. One of them eventually paid for the slushies!
I look back on the day with wonderful memories but it's the things that happen everyday that makes our marriage what it is.

Cinder said...

I do have an amazing marriage! It's nice to know we're not the only ones who went to 7/11 and had a small wedding party--it was the beginning of July and just seemed like the right way to progress the afternoon! It was funny...this spring I attended a bridal shower at church and they played a game about finding out which bride did certain things...Sherry, I and one other girl were the youngest brides there...I ended up being the bride to come to about either the 7/11 road trip or about having a child with you when you celebrated your 1st wedding anniversary. About a month in, we decided we'd start trying for a baby...everyone said it takes 6 months...took us 2 weeks...we wouldn't change it though.

I have really good memories of that day, but like you said, it's the everyday happenings which make our marriage what it is. If someone would have told us that 9.5 years later we would have three kids, have lived in three different places and have a picture collage of friends on our fridge from all those places, I don't know if we would have believed them...but we wouldn't change anything either!