Okay, so I said I wasn't posting until I got back! But I received this via email from a friend this morning and I thought it was worth posting! A little while back a friend made a post talking about a short quote at http://northvus.blogspot.com/2006/02/shortword11.html, and it seemed to work really well for my title...this friend has a knack for getting me really thinking and searching deep down...quite a few of you do that and that's a good thing!
This poem I received this morning got me thinking, about the fact that, "Yes!" I am a child of God, a Christ follower, but I'm not perfect and this really shouted to me that it's okay to not be perfect...he loves us where we are, he doesn't expect us to reach a certain point, he simply meets us where we are and walks with us along this journey of life. There might be ups and downs, mountains and valleys, good and bad days, but no matter what, he's only a breath away. He's ready to walk and run with us when that's where we're at and also ready to stop, pick us up and carry us when we're at that point. At the end of the day he still loves us, no matter what point we're at, because we're all a continual work in progress and he's okay with that! It's truly by His amazing grace that we are able to go through this life and live for Him...praise God!
Christians - By Maya Angelou
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
And need Christ to be my guide.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on!
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Hey there everyone…this is an untitled post, as technology is not co-operating with me today and I am bound and determined to get this post up...I hope your weeks are all going well! This was orginally going to be a comment to everyone in my comment box, but then it started to shape up to be a post. I’ve been thinking a lot on that checklist this week and the worship music from Sunday has permeated my soul and has continually come into my head throughout the days…it’s brought such peace and a filling of His Holy Spirit throughout this week.
I think what I’ve got out of my thinking so far this week is that things don’t and probably won’t change overnight, and it’ll probably happen in baby steps, but that’s okay! Our pastor made a comment on Sunday which has stayed with me this week…he said that a lot of times we put everything into boxes…our family time box, our work box, our friend box, our God box, etc. and that in the church during Christ’s time, God was just in every aspect of life. That got me thinking, especially about “Every week I take at least one full day as a “personal Sabbath” to restore my energy”…if I’m able to put aside a whole day and get some good time with God during that day to pray and be with him, but it also includes time with my family, tobogganning, going bike riding, going for a walk, etc., isn’t that still a time of rest, and also enjoying the blessings which he’s bestowed upon me? I still have a lot of thinking and praying to do on this one!
“God’s will and purpose is the determining factor as to how I spend my time.” I’m trying to do this more than I was, and am finding that some of the things I was chosing to spend my time on aren’t nearly as important as they were before…I am assuming I’m going to continue to see changes in this area as I become more purposeful in doing this on a daily, hourly, every minute and every second basis!
“In a typical week I involve others in helping me be the person God is calling me to be and to do the things God asks of me.” Someone said to me last night that they did eventually come to the realization of knowing that it’s okay to call upon others when you need that help to become the person God wants you to be. I’m really struggling with this one…I always let my friends know that I’m there for them, whenever they need me and that they can come to me anytime they need to…but in the same sense, I’m always “scared” that I’m going to be a bother to someone or be known as someone who’s pestering people with their problems and burdens, so I tend to keeps things to myself and inside, which I know is the wrong thing to do…but once you have done something so long, it’s a really long and hard process to reverse!
I’m going to be working on all five aspects of the list, but I’m going to focus on a handful of them for the time-being and take it in smaller steps, as for me, it won’t be so overwhelming! I’m going to sign-off with a scripture passage I read yesterday…I’m reading through a one-year Bible plan which has you reading from 7 different parts of the bible…one part for each week…I’m a little behind and in catch-up mode, but I’m getting so much out of it, which is a really good thing. I won’t probably be posting again until Monday, as we are leaving tomorrow to go and see my parents…we haven’t seen them since Christmas (which is a long time for us) and we are going to be enjoying a weekend with my parents and my sister, who is also travelling up…it will be full of family time and a weekend which will hopefully be free of stress, especially free of the everyday demands of life and hopefully a weekend full of rest, relaxation and a time to re-energize…I hope you’ll all have a very blessed weekend full of Christ’s love and protection…I’ll be back next week!
Romans 12 (The Message)
Place Your Life Before God
So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life--your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life--and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.
In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.
If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate; if you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face. Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.
Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder.
I think what I’ve got out of my thinking so far this week is that things don’t and probably won’t change overnight, and it’ll probably happen in baby steps, but that’s okay! Our pastor made a comment on Sunday which has stayed with me this week…he said that a lot of times we put everything into boxes…our family time box, our work box, our friend box, our God box, etc. and that in the church during Christ’s time, God was just in every aspect of life. That got me thinking, especially about “Every week I take at least one full day as a “personal Sabbath” to restore my energy”…if I’m able to put aside a whole day and get some good time with God during that day to pray and be with him, but it also includes time with my family, tobogganning, going bike riding, going for a walk, etc., isn’t that still a time of rest, and also enjoying the blessings which he’s bestowed upon me? I still have a lot of thinking and praying to do on this one!
“God’s will and purpose is the determining factor as to how I spend my time.” I’m trying to do this more than I was, and am finding that some of the things I was chosing to spend my time on aren’t nearly as important as they were before…I am assuming I’m going to continue to see changes in this area as I become more purposeful in doing this on a daily, hourly, every minute and every second basis!
“In a typical week I involve others in helping me be the person God is calling me to be and to do the things God asks of me.” Someone said to me last night that they did eventually come to the realization of knowing that it’s okay to call upon others when you need that help to become the person God wants you to be. I’m really struggling with this one…I always let my friends know that I’m there for them, whenever they need me and that they can come to me anytime they need to…but in the same sense, I’m always “scared” that I’m going to be a bother to someone or be known as someone who’s pestering people with their problems and burdens, so I tend to keeps things to myself and inside, which I know is the wrong thing to do…but once you have done something so long, it’s a really long and hard process to reverse!
I’m going to be working on all five aspects of the list, but I’m going to focus on a handful of them for the time-being and take it in smaller steps, as for me, it won’t be so overwhelming! I’m going to sign-off with a scripture passage I read yesterday…I’m reading through a one-year Bible plan which has you reading from 7 different parts of the bible…one part for each week…I’m a little behind and in catch-up mode, but I’m getting so much out of it, which is a really good thing. I won’t probably be posting again until Monday, as we are leaving tomorrow to go and see my parents…we haven’t seen them since Christmas (which is a long time for us) and we are going to be enjoying a weekend with my parents and my sister, who is also travelling up…it will be full of family time and a weekend which will hopefully be free of stress, especially free of the everyday demands of life and hopefully a weekend full of rest, relaxation and a time to re-energize…I hope you’ll all have a very blessed weekend full of Christ’s love and protection…I’ll be back next week!
Romans 12 (The Message)
Place Your Life Before God
So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life--your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life--and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.
In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.
If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate; if you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face. Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.
Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder.
Monday, February 20, 2006
One Way, The Only Way...Do We Truly Allow This?
It's been an interesting month...due to a sick kid and ministry, I haven't been able to "catch" a sermon since the end of January. This Sunday, I got to go and teach during the together time with our older kids...we talked about the lame man and how his friends never gave up in terms of getting him to Jesus. We talked about how we all know people who are sick, or need God's love and even though things may seem impossible by ourselves, if we all grab a corner of the blanket or cot and work together, we can accomplish things and get them to Jesus. I'm always pumped after coming out from teaching the kids...they have such amazing faith, energy and love for God...and I went down there pumped, because I was singing on the worship team and the songs chosen for yesterday spoke so deeply to me...I felt truly engulfed by His spirit!
I picked up what I thought were the sermon notes for yesterday's sermon (as I was late getting back to the service and didn't get yesterday's), but they were actually from last week's, which I missed. There was a checklist and I just got around to reading it and it now has me really thinking...this is what it said:
Check the statements that are true of you:
- God's will and purpose is the determining factor as to how I spend my time.
- I pray, read scripture and listen for God's response before I make major decisions.
- In a typical week I involve others in helping me to be the person God is calling me to be and to do the things God asks of me.
- I factor into my schedule specific measures to assist me in growing in (mastering) my pursuit of God.
- Every week I take at least one full day as a "personal Sabbath" to restore my energy.
By faith and with God as my helper, I will commit to making the following changes:
I've got a lot of thinking to do over this next week...I'm always afraid of burdening people with things in my life, when they're so busy with their lives. I'm glad to have Mr. Cinder by my side, as right now, besides him, I don't really have anyone else I truly answer each week in accountability. Do I truly take a full day as a "personal Sabbath" and is there ever really much time where it's just me and God, just me trying to restore my energy? I'm taking the songs from yesterday with me into this week and am going to finish with parts from them.
Give Me Jesus (Fanny Crosby)
In the morning when I rise
Give me Jesus
And when I am alone
Give me Jesus
And when I come to die
Give me Jesus
Give me Jesus
Give me Jesus
You can have all this world
But give me Jesus
More Then Life
Stand by everything you said
Stand by the promises we made
Let go of everything I've done
I'll run into your open arms
And all I know
Fall back on everything you've done
Fall back on everlasting arms
When all the world is swept away
You are all the things I need
You're the air I breathe
I love you more then life
I love you more then life
How can it be
You were the one on the cross
Lifted for all our shame?
How can it be
The scars in your hands are for me?
You are the king of all
Jesus, You Alone (Tim Hughes)
Jesus, you alone shall be my first love
The secret place and highest praise shall be yours
To your throne I'll bring devotion
May it be the sweetest sound
Lord this heart is reaching for you now
Day and night I'll lift my eyes to seek you
Hungry for a glimpse of you in glory
So I'll set my sights upon you
Set my life upon your praise
Never looking to another way - Father
You alone will be my passion
Jesus you will be my song
You will find me longing after you
One Way (J. Douglass/J. Houston)
I lay my life down at your feet
You're the only one I need
I turn to you and you are always there
In troubled times it's you I seek
I put you first - that's all I need
I humble all I am, all to you
One way, Jesus, You're the only one that I could live for
One way, Jesus, You're the only one that I could live for
You are always always there
Every how and everywhere
Your grace abounds so deeply within me
You will never ever change
Yesterday, today the same
Forever til forever meets no end
You are the way the truth and the life
We live by faith and not by sight
For you - we're living all for you
I picked up what I thought were the sermon notes for yesterday's sermon (as I was late getting back to the service and didn't get yesterday's), but they were actually from last week's, which I missed. There was a checklist and I just got around to reading it and it now has me really thinking...this is what it said:
Check the statements that are true of you:
- God's will and purpose is the determining factor as to how I spend my time.
- I pray, read scripture and listen for God's response before I make major decisions.
- In a typical week I involve others in helping me to be the person God is calling me to be and to do the things God asks of me.
- I factor into my schedule specific measures to assist me in growing in (mastering) my pursuit of God.
- Every week I take at least one full day as a "personal Sabbath" to restore my energy.
By faith and with God as my helper, I will commit to making the following changes:
I've got a lot of thinking to do over this next week...I'm always afraid of burdening people with things in my life, when they're so busy with their lives. I'm glad to have Mr. Cinder by my side, as right now, besides him, I don't really have anyone else I truly answer each week in accountability. Do I truly take a full day as a "personal Sabbath" and is there ever really much time where it's just me and God, just me trying to restore my energy? I'm taking the songs from yesterday with me into this week and am going to finish with parts from them.
Give Me Jesus (Fanny Crosby)
In the morning when I rise
Give me Jesus
And when I am alone
Give me Jesus
And when I come to die
Give me Jesus
Give me Jesus
Give me Jesus
You can have all this world
But give me Jesus
More Then Life
Stand by everything you said
Stand by the promises we made
Let go of everything I've done
I'll run into your open arms
And all I know
Fall back on everything you've done
Fall back on everlasting arms
When all the world is swept away
You are all the things I need
You're the air I breathe
I love you more then life
I love you more then life
How can it be
You were the one on the cross
Lifted for all our shame?
How can it be
The scars in your hands are for me?
You are the king of all
Jesus, You Alone (Tim Hughes)
Jesus, you alone shall be my first love
The secret place and highest praise shall be yours
To your throne I'll bring devotion
May it be the sweetest sound
Lord this heart is reaching for you now
Day and night I'll lift my eyes to seek you
Hungry for a glimpse of you in glory
So I'll set my sights upon you
Set my life upon your praise
Never looking to another way - Father
You alone will be my passion
Jesus you will be my song
You will find me longing after you
One Way (J. Douglass/J. Houston)
I lay my life down at your feet
You're the only one I need
I turn to you and you are always there
In troubled times it's you I seek
I put you first - that's all I need
I humble all I am, all to you
One way, Jesus, You're the only one that I could live for
One way, Jesus, You're the only one that I could live for
You are always always there
Every how and everywhere
Your grace abounds so deeply within me
You will never ever change
Yesterday, today the same
Forever til forever meets no end
You are the way the truth and the life
We live by faith and not by sight
For you - we're living all for you
Friday, February 17, 2006
I've Been Tagged
I've been tagged by following the herd and found it got me thinking! Here's the deal: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so:
Pink Cupcake
Queen of West Procrastination
VanderMeander
following the herd
cindertales
Next select five people to tag:
I orginally did have people listed, but noticed on another site that this was just left open and have decided to do the same. If you want to take the challenge, feel free to do so!
What were you doing 10 years ago?
Ten years ago, I was 6 months away from becoming Mr. Cinder's wife...so was busy taking pre-marital classes, making wedding invitations and doing wedding planning. I was laid up in bed with mono...spent all of February and part of March in bed and a long time afterwards gaining my strength back.
What were you doing 1 year ago?
One year ago, I was enjoying doing life with God, Mr. Cinder, our kids and our friends and family. I was working as a Pastoral Admin. Assistant, was busy with various different ministry areas and was also busy taking kids to school, music lessons, beavers, etc. and dating Mr. Cinder and doing things with friends in what little spare time I had.
Five snacks you enjoy:
- Apples with Caramel Dipping Sauce
- Popcorn with butter and popcorn seasoning (especially Dill Pickle)
- Spinach Dip
- Celery and Carrot Sticks
- Anything chocolate
Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
- Arthur Fartie's Yodelling Party (Swirling Eddies)
- Shout to the Lord
- Lifesong (Casting Crowns)
- Hound Dog (Elvis)
- Amazing Grace
Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:(I'm giving my top 6)
- Give money to Northview
- Pay off our house and any debt we have
- Put money towards education for me to get either a two year bachelor of theology program or a pastoral degree and for my hubby to stay educated and current in his line of work
- Take my family overseas and do mission work
- Give money to help the churches in Sri Lanka
- Give money to our parents in return for all they've done for us
Five bad habits:
- Procrastination
- Lack of patience and a bit of a temper, especially with my family
- Tendency to be too inwardly focused
- Drowning my sorrows by eating tons of chocolate
- I am one of the worst housekeepers Mr. Cinder could have gotten
Five things you like doing: (I'm giving 6 again)
- Serving God and those around me
- Date nights with my hubby--cuddling on the couch by the fireplace, watching a really good movie
- Hugs and kisses from my family
- Tobogganning with my family
- Worship singing
- Reading & writing poetry and songs
Five things you would never wear again:
- Bikini
- My grad dress
- My black spandex pants from junior high
- Big hair
- Big glasses
Favourite toys:
- My guitar and piano
- My giant teddy bear I got when I was 3 months old
- Mickey Mouse record player
- Lite Brite
- Hungry, Hungry Hippos
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Happy Valentine's Day
Happy Valentine's Day everyone! This is one day which I have to say Mr. Cinder and I haven't really put a huge amount of effort into...we've always just tried to celebrate our love throughout the entire year...we do something, but some people might not think it's much. But this year I'm feeling a little different for one reason or another...my blogging friend Audrey posted a very special Valentine's message on her blog Marvellous and it made me think about the fact that I'm not just celebrating love from my family, but I'm also supposed to take time this day to celebrate the love of God and praise him for all he's done and going to do in my life and my family! You can see this special Valentine's message at http://yinaudrey.blogspot.com/2006/02/happy-valentines-day.html .
I hope you will all have an amazing day and a week full of his love and blessings...I was listening to this song yesterday...it was the song I walked down the aisle to at my wedding. The song spoke exactly what I wanted people to know our love was going to grow to be...yesterday this song spoke mountains to me as I reflected on all the roads we've already gone down and as I look to the future and what roads we might go down next. This is definitely known as a "wedding song" for very good reasons!
Jesus in Your Eyes
by Julie Miller, Orphans and Angels
Oh, look at where we are
God has brought us both so far
We've been delivered by his hand
And brought to the place where we now stand
Love is patient and love is kind
Love comes through every time
Always protects hopes and trusts
Keeps on believing and it never gives up
In my life I have seen so many things
But nothing has touched me so deep inside
As when I see Jesus in your eyes
In my heart I'm very sure
In His love ours will endure
Loving Him by loving you
In serving Jesus, I will serve you too
For His glory we will live
He has given us love to give
I am with you heart and soul
Where ever He leads together we will go
In my life I have see so many things
But nothing has touched me so deep inside
As when I see Jesus in your eyes
I am so in love with life, God, Mr. Cinder, my kids, my family and friends....praise God...I am blessed beyond measure to share my life with such an incredible man, to share three beautiful blessings from our love and to be able to walk through this life together, serving God together! Love is truly so amazing!
I hope you will all have an amazing day and a week full of his love and blessings...I was listening to this song yesterday...it was the song I walked down the aisle to at my wedding. The song spoke exactly what I wanted people to know our love was going to grow to be...yesterday this song spoke mountains to me as I reflected on all the roads we've already gone down and as I look to the future and what roads we might go down next. This is definitely known as a "wedding song" for very good reasons!
Jesus in Your Eyes
by Julie Miller, Orphans and Angels
Oh, look at where we are
God has brought us both so far
We've been delivered by his hand
And brought to the place where we now stand
Love is patient and love is kind
Love comes through every time
Always protects hopes and trusts
Keeps on believing and it never gives up
In my life I have seen so many things
But nothing has touched me so deep inside
As when I see Jesus in your eyes
In my heart I'm very sure
In His love ours will endure
Loving Him by loving you
In serving Jesus, I will serve you too
For His glory we will live
He has given us love to give
I am with you heart and soul
Where ever He leads together we will go
In my life I have see so many things
But nothing has touched me so deep inside
As when I see Jesus in your eyes
I am so in love with life, God, Mr. Cinder, my kids, my family and friends....praise God...I am blessed beyond measure to share my life with such an incredible man, to share three beautiful blessings from our love and to be able to walk through this life together, serving God together! Love is truly so amazing!
Monday, February 13, 2006
Road Trip
On Saturday, I went on an afternoon and evening road trip, back to my old stomping grounds. The real reason behind this little road trip was the fact that my sweetie is worried about me...he said that he feels I'm burning out and haven't been talking with him about it, so he just wanted me to do something which would allow me access to someone to talk with, allow me some time to rest and refocus on life and this is exactly what happened! We did manage to talk through things before I left and especially after I came back (I have been withdrawing from people and now know that I really need to be putting myself out there instead). It's a two and a half hour drive to get there and another two and a half hours back, so it gave me an amazing time of prayer and contemplation, a time to listen to beautiful music which spoke deeply to my heart, mind and soul and to just have quiet to reflect on the past 5 months...where I came from, the changes which occurred, what battles I've faced and might continue to face currently and to focus and anticipate on where God's calling and leading me to go in the next 5 months to a year.
This was such a refreshing time for me, as he revealed the fact that even though I've given some things over to him and was feeling some peace, I was still trying to take control over certain things, especially those pertaining to my kids with discipline, homeschooling, family life, etc. He also showed me that I'd taken things into my own hands essentially in some areas of ministry...I've been suppressing ministry ideas and not continuing to write them out as I usually would, as I didn't think they meant anything now that I'm at a different church. In the end, I told Him that I would continue to write down the ministry ideas, the poetry and song ideas and that I would plain be open and listening for His direction in all areas of my life, instead of only some.
I was blessed to have a two hour window to just talk with one of my closest friends...I miss her so much...we've got that really unique friendship in terms of knowing each other are being thought of, prayed for and loved, regardless of whether we are able to talk everyday, once a week or every few weeks. She is such a blessing to me...I can be so completely raw and real and know that I'll be loved and looked upon in the same way when the day's completed. This time with her, along with my prayer time, brought me to a completely new place in terms of life. I felt the layers falling off and realized that I cannot continue to live in the past, but need to look forward and celebrate the future. For the first time, I left these old stomping grounds without tears, because I wasn't yearning to be back there. I was leaving my friend's city and it was great to visit her, but when I left, I was grateful to be coming back to my husband, my children, my church, in my city...because it's home and where God wants us to be and I'm anticipating where he's planning to take us this year...life with Christ at the realm is truly an adventure and I wouldn't ask for my life to be any different!
I listened to a song this fall, which I felt was fitting to how I truly feel in terms of my friends and their families and that I know they feel for me and my family. The only difference is that they know our family still loves them and we know they still love us, but that they also realize that we live our lives following Christ's leading and that will always allow for the possibility of going down different roads of life, but still being with each other in mind and spirit, because we are all ultimately family in the awesome family of God!
I Wish (by JoDee Messina)
It's not easy saying this to you
It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do
But boy before you go
I want you to know
I wish you strength
When times are hard
Oh I wish with all my heart you find what you're looking for
I wish you joy
I wish you peace
And that every star you see's within your reach
And I wish you still loved me
I wish things were different you know that
But still I'm happy for the time we had
You mean the world to me
Baby please believe
Losing you is tearing me apart
But a part of me will be with you
No matter where you are
I'm praising God today for who he is and for what he's done, what he's continuing to do and what he plans to do in my life, in my marriage, in my family, in my church and in the lives of all my friends. He is so amazing and continually faithful...he truly is the air I breathe and always only a pray or thought away...Shalom!
This was such a refreshing time for me, as he revealed the fact that even though I've given some things over to him and was feeling some peace, I was still trying to take control over certain things, especially those pertaining to my kids with discipline, homeschooling, family life, etc. He also showed me that I'd taken things into my own hands essentially in some areas of ministry...I've been suppressing ministry ideas and not continuing to write them out as I usually would, as I didn't think they meant anything now that I'm at a different church. In the end, I told Him that I would continue to write down the ministry ideas, the poetry and song ideas and that I would plain be open and listening for His direction in all areas of my life, instead of only some.
I was blessed to have a two hour window to just talk with one of my closest friends...I miss her so much...we've got that really unique friendship in terms of knowing each other are being thought of, prayed for and loved, regardless of whether we are able to talk everyday, once a week or every few weeks. She is such a blessing to me...I can be so completely raw and real and know that I'll be loved and looked upon in the same way when the day's completed. This time with her, along with my prayer time, brought me to a completely new place in terms of life. I felt the layers falling off and realized that I cannot continue to live in the past, but need to look forward and celebrate the future. For the first time, I left these old stomping grounds without tears, because I wasn't yearning to be back there. I was leaving my friend's city and it was great to visit her, but when I left, I was grateful to be coming back to my husband, my children, my church, in my city...because it's home and where God wants us to be and I'm anticipating where he's planning to take us this year...life with Christ at the realm is truly an adventure and I wouldn't ask for my life to be any different!
I listened to a song this fall, which I felt was fitting to how I truly feel in terms of my friends and their families and that I know they feel for me and my family. The only difference is that they know our family still loves them and we know they still love us, but that they also realize that we live our lives following Christ's leading and that will always allow for the possibility of going down different roads of life, but still being with each other in mind and spirit, because we are all ultimately family in the awesome family of God!
I Wish (by JoDee Messina)
It's not easy saying this to you
It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do
But boy before you go
I want you to know
I wish you strength
When times are hard
Oh I wish with all my heart you find what you're looking for
I wish you joy
I wish you peace
And that every star you see's within your reach
And I wish you still loved me
I wish things were different you know that
But still I'm happy for the time we had
You mean the world to me
Baby please believe
Losing you is tearing me apart
But a part of me will be with you
No matter where you are
I'm praising God today for who he is and for what he's done, what he's continuing to do and what he plans to do in my life, in my marriage, in my family, in my church and in the lives of all my friends. He is so amazing and continually faithful...he truly is the air I breathe and always only a pray or thought away...Shalom!
Psalm 96
Sing GOD a brand-new song! Earth and everyone in it, sing!
Sing to GOD-worship GOD!
Shout the news of his victory from sea to sea,
Take the news of his glory to the lost,
News of his wonders to one and all!
For GOD is great, and worth a thousand Hallelujahs.
His terrible beauty makes the gods look cheap;
Pagan gods are mere tatters and rags.
GOD made the heavens--
Royal splendor radiates from him,
A powerful beauty sets him apart.
Bravo, GOD, Bravo!
Everyone join in the great shout: Encore!
In awe before the beauty, in awe before the might.
Bring gifts and celebrate,
Bow before the beauty of GOD,
Then to your knees--everyone worship!
Get out the message--GOD Rules!
He put the world on a firm foundation;
He treats everyone fair and square.
Let's hear it from Sky,
With Earth joining in,
And a huge round of applause from Sea.
Let Wilderness turn cartwheels,
Animals, come dance,
Put every tree of the forest in the choir--
An extravaganza before GOD as he comes,
As he comes to set everything right on earth,
Set everything right, treat everyone fair.
Sing to GOD-worship GOD!
Shout the news of his victory from sea to sea,
Take the news of his glory to the lost,
News of his wonders to one and all!
For GOD is great, and worth a thousand Hallelujahs.
His terrible beauty makes the gods look cheap;
Pagan gods are mere tatters and rags.
GOD made the heavens--
Royal splendor radiates from him,
A powerful beauty sets him apart.
Bravo, GOD, Bravo!
Everyone join in the great shout: Encore!
In awe before the beauty, in awe before the might.
Bring gifts and celebrate,
Bow before the beauty of GOD,
Then to your knees--everyone worship!
Get out the message--GOD Rules!
He put the world on a firm foundation;
He treats everyone fair and square.
Let's hear it from Sky,
With Earth joining in,
And a huge round of applause from Sea.
Let Wilderness turn cartwheels,
Animals, come dance,
Put every tree of the forest in the choir--
An extravaganza before GOD as he comes,
As he comes to set everything right on earth,
Set everything right, treat everyone fair.
Friday, February 10, 2006
Poems
I wasn't planning on posting daily, but my blog wasn't working this morning, so this is a test to see if things will post. I'm simply posting a couple of my poems...they are both letters of praise and thanksgiving for Christ's sacrifice...sometimes I sing this one, but as usual, the music's in my head and not down on paper!
If there’s no tomorrow,
I know I’ll have you.
You are always with me,
No matter what I do.
Your love is so amazing,
So gracious and free.
You died on Calvary’s cross,
To save a wretch like me.
I know I can’t repay you,
No earthly act comes close.
To the sacrifical love you showed,
As your loving eyes drew closed.
I live to see tomorrow,
Because of your love shown.
I can only pray to heaven,
I’ll make my Savior known.
This poem was written on one of those days when you just want to go back to bed and wake up the next day and start afresh...I'm not feeling that way today, but parts of this poem are like a daily prayer, in terms of remembering to share God's grace with everyone around me...not just those I see when out and about, but especially my kids and my husband. Sometimes it's really easy to remember to show His grace to strangers, but not to show it to those who are closest to us!
Frustration fills my heart,
Nobody’s listening!
This high-paced society causes so much anxiety,
Stressful issues appearing around every corner!
Where can I turn?
Where can I go?
To you Lord,
I lay my fears and anxieties at your loving feet.
Your loving fatherly arms wrap around me like a father does his hurting child,
Your love pours out to me.
A sense of peace fills my heart,
You are my sanctuary in times of stress and trouble.
Lord, please mold me into a more faithful person,
Help me to turn to you before things become unmanageable.
I pray your presence will be with me every moment of the day,
Your peace will allow me to be a more patient and loving person,
Allow your kindness to always shine through me,
I pray I’ll show your grace to others whenever possible.
Blood pouring down your head, hands and feet,
Tears of pain and hurt trickled from your eyes.
You showed your amazing love for me,
By dying such a painfully slow death!
A death I so deserved to have,
But you took my place for me!
Lord, I pray that picture will be in my mind always,
When things feel too hard to handle.
When I just want to crawl into bed and put the blankets over my head,
I pray I’ll remember your love for me!
The nails pounded in your hands and feet,
A crown of thorns upon your head.
Hurtful insults yelled at you,
Ungrateful people spitting in your face.
You hung on that tree for us with such amazing love and grace,
I can only pray I’ll show that same grace to all who come my way today.
Allow your love and kindness to shine through me always,
Thank you Father, for being my loving King!
If there’s no tomorrow,
I know I’ll have you.
You are always with me,
No matter what I do.
Your love is so amazing,
So gracious and free.
You died on Calvary’s cross,
To save a wretch like me.
I know I can’t repay you,
No earthly act comes close.
To the sacrifical love you showed,
As your loving eyes drew closed.
I live to see tomorrow,
Because of your love shown.
I can only pray to heaven,
I’ll make my Savior known.
This poem was written on one of those days when you just want to go back to bed and wake up the next day and start afresh...I'm not feeling that way today, but parts of this poem are like a daily prayer, in terms of remembering to share God's grace with everyone around me...not just those I see when out and about, but especially my kids and my husband. Sometimes it's really easy to remember to show His grace to strangers, but not to show it to those who are closest to us!
Frustration fills my heart,
Nobody’s listening!
This high-paced society causes so much anxiety,
Stressful issues appearing around every corner!
Where can I turn?
Where can I go?
To you Lord,
I lay my fears and anxieties at your loving feet.
Your loving fatherly arms wrap around me like a father does his hurting child,
Your love pours out to me.
A sense of peace fills my heart,
You are my sanctuary in times of stress and trouble.
Lord, please mold me into a more faithful person,
Help me to turn to you before things become unmanageable.
I pray your presence will be with me every moment of the day,
Your peace will allow me to be a more patient and loving person,
Allow your kindness to always shine through me,
I pray I’ll show your grace to others whenever possible.
Blood pouring down your head, hands and feet,
Tears of pain and hurt trickled from your eyes.
You showed your amazing love for me,
By dying such a painfully slow death!
A death I so deserved to have,
But you took my place for me!
Lord, I pray that picture will be in my mind always,
When things feel too hard to handle.
When I just want to crawl into bed and put the blankets over my head,
I pray I’ll remember your love for me!
The nails pounded in your hands and feet,
A crown of thorns upon your head.
Hurtful insults yelled at you,
Ungrateful people spitting in your face.
You hung on that tree for us with such amazing love and grace,
I can only pray I’ll show that same grace to all who come my way today.
Allow your love and kindness to shine through me always,
Thank you Father, for being my loving King!
Thursday, February 09, 2006
The Table of Grace
I have been going through an interesting time in life lately...I don't recall ever being spiritually battled to the extent that I've been in the last months. I am so thankful to be a part of our church's intercessors team...we meet weekly to pray together...there have been quite a few times in the past little while where I haven't wanted to go, but once there, was extremely prompted by what someone prayed or just by the Holy Spirit in general. Last night I was prompted about the fact I have been filled with so much anxiety and anger and I've bought into the fact that I can hide behind these and that I think it's perfectly okay for me to have these emotions. But really, I was prompted that I don't have any real concrete reasons to be anxious or saddened or angry, but that I should really feel blessed for the fact that I have the Lord by my side through everything...he's always there, no matter what the time of the day, no matter what the situation, he's there, listening, engulfing my life with his love and protection! I could not imagine living this life without him being with me...that's just unimaginable. I know that despite what's happening now, that he'll never allow me to go through something which I can't handle and I also know that not all happenings in life are tests and trials from God, some are strong battles from Satan.
I'm so thankful to have him in my life today and forever...I've been listening a couple of my favorite music groups the last couple of weeks. Phillips, Craig and Dean have some truly amazing songs...they are three pastors who formed a singing group and some of the songs which come from them cause me to really think and be thankful and appreciate God's grace and love. One song they've wrote is based on Matthew 11:28-30(KJV)...it's a daily reminder to me of God's love and grace.
Table of Grace
Phillips, Craig and Dean, Restoration
Hear the good news
You've been invited
No matter what others may say
Your darkest sins
Will be forgiven
And you will always have a place
At the table of grace
The cup's never empty
The plate's always full
And it's never too late
To come and be filled
With love never ending
You're always welcome at the table of grace
So come you weak and heavy hearted
Don't try to hide
Your earthly scars
In His eyes, we all are equal
Don't be afraid
Come as you are
So let the first become the last
Let the poor put kings to shame
Their willing hearts will be their treasure
By the power of Jesus' name
Everyone's welcome at the table of grace
Being in a new place has caused me to be so afraid...I'm a different person right now than I was this time last year....I'm so worried at times about what people will think of me to know I'm struggling with life, that things aren't always perfect. Even though I know most people don't ever expect perfection from anyone, as we're human with human tendencies, but my human nature tends to take my eyes off of God for a brief instant and deflect my view to what I think others around me expect to be.
So come you weak and heavy hearted
Don't try to hide
Your earthly scars
He knows we're not perfect and that we go through times when we are weak and when ours hearts are burdened and heavy. He doesn't want us to mask what we're feeling or our past...he doesn't want us to put on an act for those around us...he truly loves us where we're at, not expecting us to get to a certain point, but simply meeting us where we're at!
In His eyes, we all are equal
Don't be afraid
Come as you are
I am so thankful for the fact we all are equal in His eyes...that his love transcends through the family of Christ...it doesn't matter where we go, when you meet up with other Christ followers, there is just an underlying love which is always there, because we have common ground...His grace and love! That's such a comfort to know that the family of Christ will come alongside and comfort those around them, because that's what he does and what he wants us to do.
Their willing hearts will be their treasure
By the power of Jesus' name...Everyone's welcome at the table of grace!
I pray I will always have a willing heart to love Him, to serve Him and to follow his leading, no matter where it might take me. It's an amazing thing to realize that we are all welcome at his table, no matter where we are...it's never to late to come and you'll always walk away being refreshed and refilled. A friend made a post which simply stated whether the question is, "Who am I?" or is it really, "Whose am I?" I am His forever and that is the biggest comfort and blessing to know this. Life might be full of curves and turns, hills and mountains, valleys and deserts, but each one of those allows us the chance to grow as a person and in our walk with Christ. As hard as trials, tests and battles might be, I come out of each of them stronger in my faith, in my love for Christ and those around me and more concreted in knowing whose I truly am...I am His!
Matthew 11:28-30 (King James Version)
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
I'm so thankful to have him in my life today and forever...I've been listening a couple of my favorite music groups the last couple of weeks. Phillips, Craig and Dean have some truly amazing songs...they are three pastors who formed a singing group and some of the songs which come from them cause me to really think and be thankful and appreciate God's grace and love. One song they've wrote is based on Matthew 11:28-30(KJV)...it's a daily reminder to me of God's love and grace.
Table of Grace
Phillips, Craig and Dean, Restoration
Hear the good news
You've been invited
No matter what others may say
Your darkest sins
Will be forgiven
And you will always have a place
At the table of grace
The cup's never empty
The plate's always full
And it's never too late
To come and be filled
With love never ending
You're always welcome at the table of grace
So come you weak and heavy hearted
Don't try to hide
Your earthly scars
In His eyes, we all are equal
Don't be afraid
Come as you are
So let the first become the last
Let the poor put kings to shame
Their willing hearts will be their treasure
By the power of Jesus' name
Everyone's welcome at the table of grace
Being in a new place has caused me to be so afraid...I'm a different person right now than I was this time last year....I'm so worried at times about what people will think of me to know I'm struggling with life, that things aren't always perfect. Even though I know most people don't ever expect perfection from anyone, as we're human with human tendencies, but my human nature tends to take my eyes off of God for a brief instant and deflect my view to what I think others around me expect to be.
So come you weak and heavy hearted
Don't try to hide
Your earthly scars
He knows we're not perfect and that we go through times when we are weak and when ours hearts are burdened and heavy. He doesn't want us to mask what we're feeling or our past...he doesn't want us to put on an act for those around us...he truly loves us where we're at, not expecting us to get to a certain point, but simply meeting us where we're at!
In His eyes, we all are equal
Don't be afraid
Come as you are
I am so thankful for the fact we all are equal in His eyes...that his love transcends through the family of Christ...it doesn't matter where we go, when you meet up with other Christ followers, there is just an underlying love which is always there, because we have common ground...His grace and love! That's such a comfort to know that the family of Christ will come alongside and comfort those around them, because that's what he does and what he wants us to do.
Their willing hearts will be their treasure
By the power of Jesus' name...Everyone's welcome at the table of grace!
I pray I will always have a willing heart to love Him, to serve Him and to follow his leading, no matter where it might take me. It's an amazing thing to realize that we are all welcome at his table, no matter where we are...it's never to late to come and you'll always walk away being refreshed and refilled. A friend made a post which simply stated whether the question is, "Who am I?" or is it really, "Whose am I?" I am His forever and that is the biggest comfort and blessing to know this. Life might be full of curves and turns, hills and mountains, valleys and deserts, but each one of those allows us the chance to grow as a person and in our walk with Christ. As hard as trials, tests and battles might be, I come out of each of them stronger in my faith, in my love for Christ and those around me and more concreted in knowing whose I truly am...I am His!
Matthew 11:28-30 (King James Version)
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
My Favorite Scripture
I'm just going to post my favorite scripture...this is the scripture on my bible cover...Mr. Cinder read this scripture to me at my baptism (a whole another post for another day)...it was given to him at his baptism and is a scripture which we look to a lot. We have it on a few walls in our house in different forms and we have a lot of eagles throughout our house. When I look at an eagle figurine or picture, I think about this verse. It's so comforting to know that he's never going to tire and get weary and that he's always there to listen, to pick us up and to help us renew our strength when it's completely gone. It's an awesome feeling to feel him pick you up, to feel like you truly are soaring on wings like eagles and that even when you don't think you can go another step, that he gives you this amazing strength and perservance to keep going with him through the bends and curves of life!
Isaiah 40:28-31 (NIV)
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31 (NIV)
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Oh Boy!
This is called, "Don't let Cinder use the computer before she's totally awake!" Never crossed my mind that I should copy all my links, BEFORE I changed the look of my blog...so don't be alarmed that I all of a sudden decided to take your link off...it wasn't intentional and I'll be working to get everything back up how it was before!
Thursday, February 02, 2006
| Your Blogging Type is Kind and Harmonious |
 |
You have a great eye for design...and your blog tends to be the best looking on the block! LOL :) , that line is so far from the truth, BUT despite that last line, I found this quite interesting...it actually gives a pretty accurate picture of how I am wired in real life, especially when life is on a more even and smoother road! I just wanted to thank everyone for your comments on the previous post...I tend to have some issues when I'm not getting sleep...go figure that everyday life as a stay-at-home, homeschooling mommy and wife would get a little tense and more difficult when you aren't able to get more than 5 hours of sleep for 5 or 6 days in a row and am starting to feel sick. Praise God that last night I was able to sleep for almost 8 hours straight...I feel refreshed this morning and that in itself took away some of the anxiety, grouchiness, and whines that I was feeling!
I wanted to simply direct you to some really good posts I've come upon the last couple of days. Curious Servant just put up a new post http://jobstale.blogspot.com/2006/02/echoes.html. The last few posts have been very thought provoking...please continue to remember Curious Servant and his family in prayer.
After working for a pastor for two years before our move, something which has come to play in my life is what do I call him now that I'm away and we're no longer sidekicks in the pastoral staff area of life! Ricochet is a very good post about this...you can find it at http://e-pistles.blogspot.com/2006/01/ricochet.html.
I have read a few articles in the last little while about shalom and found them to be very educational in giving me a good overview about what shalom is. You can find these at http://northvus.blogspot.com/2006/01/shalom-baby.html, http://sheffield.typepad.com/dansheffield/2006/01/describing_shal.html and http://sheffield.typepad.com/dansheffield/2006/01/missional_commu_1.html.
This one is about my church...what an amazing group of people (our new church family) that Mr. Cinder and I have been blessed with...words cannot adequately describe or give justice to how God-loving, God-driven and supportive they are! This post talks about an amazing work of art on the back wall of the church and now another work in the basement on the youth room wall...you can see the pic at http://northvus.blogspot.com/2006/01/bombing-church-for-gods-glory.html.
Kc has a post which will direct you to some more good sites: http://justsoyouallknow.blogspot.com/2006/02/few-things.html.
These posts from Following the Herd, Corry, Jackie, and Pia are really interesting:
http://theykherd.blogspot.com/2006/02/liberal-or-conservative-christian.html
http://experiencingrheumatoidarthritis.blogspot.com/2006/02/work-in-progress.html
http://jackieduff.blogspot.com/2006/01/real-story.html
http://myblog2002.blogspot.com/2006/01/marzipan-babies.html and http://myblog2002.blogspot.com/2006/02/my-anime.html
I hope you all have a God-blessed day and rest of the week!
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Spiritual Battle
I guess before I even start, I should warn you that this probably ranks as one of the the darkest entries I've written so far...there's not a lot of fluffiness in this one...hopefully in the near future, I'll be back posting my poetry and happy thoughts, but for now, this is where I'm at! I know I said I was going to take a break from the blogging action, but after talking via email with a friend, they have me convinced that just altering the way I do my blogging vs. quitting altogether may be the better route for me to go. Honestly, it was a mind-boggling weekend in a lot of ways and I think I am still processing everything...yesterday my kids were acting like they ate the contents of a whole candy store and I'm still recovering from that. So for now I simply won't be posting as much...I might post something I've corresponded via email, as some of my emails turn very bloggish, very fast...I'm just plain long-winded sometimes!
This weekend Mr. Cinder and I got to attend a Freedom in Christ seminar, as we are going to be co-leading a small group and will be teaching Beta. It was an eye-opening seminar for me...I honestly didn't think I'd take as much away from it as I did. I had never went through the steps to freedom and worked to make time for this, as a way to start my week. I also attended a heart-wrenching funeral Saturday night (was there to support my friend, who was helping with the sound/music portion)...a precious baby girl, who was carried to full term, but once born, never took a breath. I can't even imagine...Mr. Cinder would have had to carry me to the funeral if it was my child...it was stressful enough for me to be consider high-risk, as I had low platlets and there was always a chance of me bleeding out...we had what the doctor considered to be fairly major medical problems during my pregnancy and delivery of our little girl, but it all seems trivial after this weekend and I feel so very blessed. Please remember this family in prayer if you have a chance...they will need all the blessings, strength and encouragement from the Lord they can have!
Yesterday was "get your act together so as not to scare people half to death" day at our house, and it allowed me an almost two hour slot to sit and pray through all the steps...it was a weird feeling to feel the spiritual battle which engaged and interesting to see the times they appeared throughout that time period. Some of the steps went like clockwork and I had uninterrupted time...but when I got to the one step which I thought might cause problems, I hit a huge roadblock, even though I was already at peace with knowing that I will ultimately win the battle.
You see, I'm pretty sure that I'm suffering from depression at least in a mild to moderate state...I have most of the tell-tale symptoms...there are a few dark times, when I get low enough, that I am overcome with a feeling of inadequacy as a wife, parent, friend, even though Mr. Cinder says that's so, so not true! I feel apprehension so heavy that I can't even explain it, feelings of hopelessness and feelings that my family and friends would be better off with me not here, that they'd be better off with someone who had it more together. I have to praise God that even during these times, I know it's a spiritual battle going on inside of me and that I'm a child of God and that he, my family and my friends love me where I'm at and that the thoughts and feelings are lies from Satan...even though during those times of the thoughts of maybe I should finish things and spare people the burden of where I'm at, I have never and will never give in or follow through with that...suicide, in terms of my life, to me would be letting Satan have the victory and I'm not willing to do that. As I began to pray through the specific prayer regarding suicidal tendencies, I had distractions...for at least at 10 minute window...got me off track and then took time, but eventually it went through...that was such an amazing experience...I shed a lot of tears yesterday in happiness and today I've shed a lot of tears in frustration, but things will eventually look up, that's something I'm totally certain of and take a lot of comfort in right now!
I talked with my friend via email about the fear of telling people, especially a pastor or people I'm trying to make friendships with...it's a fear of what they'll perceive me as, a fear that once out, I'll be seen as unfit to serve in ministry, deemed unworthy or not good enough to be a friend...I know deep down that this isn't true, but sometimes what you know deep down and what you choose to believe at any given moment are two very different things! It was alluded to in the emailing that maybe it's a pride thing...it definitely is a pride thing...not in terms of me thinking I'm above being afflicted with something, more so ashamed and not wanting people to know...worry about what they'll think, about possible accusations of me not having my life together enough and that if I was trusting him enough, that things would be non-existent. This is a relatively new issue in my life, being in the background for a couple of years, but only recently been playing the lead fiddle in my life...there's always that voice which creeps up when you think of letting a wall down...it tries to say people won't accept you/begin and grow friendships with you, people won't see you the same or treat you the same and even though that's usually not true, it seems to take a long time for things to work through.
I'm reading one of two books I picked up Saturday...it's funny how sometimes you tell people the books you're getting and other times you hide them fast, praying no one will see them, 'cause they might drag your butt into the pastor's office...it had an evaluation which allowed you to look at whether you need to be seeking outside counsel...I was in the area where I don't need to seek counsel and should be able to work things through on my own, with the aid of the book...I don't know if I mid-lined some answers to achieve those results...I do know that things are improving, with some pitfalls, but overall are improving...taking the evaluation in December though would have been a completely different line of ducks...December was a really rough month for me emotionally and mentally.
The book is called, "Overcoming Depression" by Neil and Joanne Anderson...it talked about the fact that you can fix a symptom but it doesn't necessarily fix the problem...I've had a lot of people say, go get medicated and that will fix everything, but Mr. Cinder's stood behind me in knowing that that's not going to fix the crap which comes into my head sometimes and continues to help me to try and find the root cause of what's truly going on...in the same sense, I feel at times that I'm being a hypocrite by not allowing people to see that side of me. The people who I know will look at me the same when I'm in the lowest possible point, they know what's going on, because honestly, the fact of feeling God's presence more clearly than ever during those times and knowing I can turn somewhere is what saves me...I do renounce things at those times, even if it does only bandaid the issue...it's crucial...those points are coming fewer and farther and that's truly a blessing from him. I think that's what made the move this fall the hardest...having my support-system ripped away and not wanting to burden anyone in the new setting. It's definitely one of those pride things, where you want to make friends but not have them see the bad and the ugly right away...just let them see the good and okay side and give them the facade that you have it all together, even though you don't!
I am going to continue to be blogging...I will be reading and leaving occasional comments here and there, but will probably be cutting down the time I spend at it for now, so I can concentrate on getting Cinder where she needs to be, so I can be the best wife, mom, friend and most importantly, Child of God that I can be!
"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
This weekend Mr. Cinder and I got to attend a Freedom in Christ seminar, as we are going to be co-leading a small group and will be teaching Beta. It was an eye-opening seminar for me...I honestly didn't think I'd take as much away from it as I did. I had never went through the steps to freedom and worked to make time for this, as a way to start my week. I also attended a heart-wrenching funeral Saturday night (was there to support my friend, who was helping with the sound/music portion)...a precious baby girl, who was carried to full term, but once born, never took a breath. I can't even imagine...Mr. Cinder would have had to carry me to the funeral if it was my child...it was stressful enough for me to be consider high-risk, as I had low platlets and there was always a chance of me bleeding out...we had what the doctor considered to be fairly major medical problems during my pregnancy and delivery of our little girl, but it all seems trivial after this weekend and I feel so very blessed. Please remember this family in prayer if you have a chance...they will need all the blessings, strength and encouragement from the Lord they can have!
Yesterday was "get your act together so as not to scare people half to death" day at our house, and it allowed me an almost two hour slot to sit and pray through all the steps...it was a weird feeling to feel the spiritual battle which engaged and interesting to see the times they appeared throughout that time period. Some of the steps went like clockwork and I had uninterrupted time...but when I got to the one step which I thought might cause problems, I hit a huge roadblock, even though I was already at peace with knowing that I will ultimately win the battle.
You see, I'm pretty sure that I'm suffering from depression at least in a mild to moderate state...I have most of the tell-tale symptoms...there are a few dark times, when I get low enough, that I am overcome with a feeling of inadequacy as a wife, parent, friend, even though Mr. Cinder says that's so, so not true! I feel apprehension so heavy that I can't even explain it, feelings of hopelessness and feelings that my family and friends would be better off with me not here, that they'd be better off with someone who had it more together. I have to praise God that even during these times, I know it's a spiritual battle going on inside of me and that I'm a child of God and that he, my family and my friends love me where I'm at and that the thoughts and feelings are lies from Satan...even though during those times of the thoughts of maybe I should finish things and spare people the burden of where I'm at, I have never and will never give in or follow through with that...suicide, in terms of my life, to me would be letting Satan have the victory and I'm not willing to do that. As I began to pray through the specific prayer regarding suicidal tendencies, I had distractions...for at least at 10 minute window...got me off track and then took time, but eventually it went through...that was such an amazing experience...I shed a lot of tears yesterday in happiness and today I've shed a lot of tears in frustration, but things will eventually look up, that's something I'm totally certain of and take a lot of comfort in right now!
I talked with my friend via email about the fear of telling people, especially a pastor or people I'm trying to make friendships with...it's a fear of what they'll perceive me as, a fear that once out, I'll be seen as unfit to serve in ministry, deemed unworthy or not good enough to be a friend...I know deep down that this isn't true, but sometimes what you know deep down and what you choose to believe at any given moment are two very different things! It was alluded to in the emailing that maybe it's a pride thing...it definitely is a pride thing...not in terms of me thinking I'm above being afflicted with something, more so ashamed and not wanting people to know...worry about what they'll think, about possible accusations of me not having my life together enough and that if I was trusting him enough, that things would be non-existent. This is a relatively new issue in my life, being in the background for a couple of years, but only recently been playing the lead fiddle in my life...there's always that voice which creeps up when you think of letting a wall down...it tries to say people won't accept you/begin and grow friendships with you, people won't see you the same or treat you the same and even though that's usually not true, it seems to take a long time for things to work through.
I'm reading one of two books I picked up Saturday...it's funny how sometimes you tell people the books you're getting and other times you hide them fast, praying no one will see them, 'cause they might drag your butt into the pastor's office...it had an evaluation which allowed you to look at whether you need to be seeking outside counsel...I was in the area where I don't need to seek counsel and should be able to work things through on my own, with the aid of the book...I don't know if I mid-lined some answers to achieve those results...I do know that things are improving, with some pitfalls, but overall are improving...taking the evaluation in December though would have been a completely different line of ducks...December was a really rough month for me emotionally and mentally.
The book is called, "Overcoming Depression" by Neil and Joanne Anderson...it talked about the fact that you can fix a symptom but it doesn't necessarily fix the problem...I've had a lot of people say, go get medicated and that will fix everything, but Mr. Cinder's stood behind me in knowing that that's not going to fix the crap which comes into my head sometimes and continues to help me to try and find the root cause of what's truly going on...in the same sense, I feel at times that I'm being a hypocrite by not allowing people to see that side of me. The people who I know will look at me the same when I'm in the lowest possible point, they know what's going on, because honestly, the fact of feeling God's presence more clearly than ever during those times and knowing I can turn somewhere is what saves me...I do renounce things at those times, even if it does only bandaid the issue...it's crucial...those points are coming fewer and farther and that's truly a blessing from him. I think that's what made the move this fall the hardest...having my support-system ripped away and not wanting to burden anyone in the new setting. It's definitely one of those pride things, where you want to make friends but not have them see the bad and the ugly right away...just let them see the good and okay side and give them the facade that you have it all together, even though you don't!
I am going to continue to be blogging...I will be reading and leaving occasional comments here and there, but will probably be cutting down the time I spend at it for now, so I can concentrate on getting Cinder where she needs to be, so I can be the best wife, mom, friend and most importantly, Child of God that I can be!
"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
Romans 15:13
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Lord, I Need You
As I sit in numbness,
Numb to the war going on inside of me
Turmoil and pain, fear and depression
Confusion and anxiety overtake my mind
How do I possibly get through
Continue on day by day
Why do I feel like a prisoner to my emotions?
Why do I feel like a blur going through life?
I feel like a failure,
No matter what I do, I fail at it,
No matter what I say, it’s not right,
I feel unworthy to hold the positions in life that I have.
I don’t recognize myself in the mirror anymore,
I am a skelton of who I was
A person full of anger and helpless and depression
Not knowing how to get back to where I was.
God is my light and my guide,
Everything in life is possible with him by my side.
He never leaves, won’t forsake me,
No matter what the situation in life.
I can’t get to the light…can’t get to the top of the mountain.
I need to meet with him, commune with him
I feel like I’m sinking away from him
Falling farther each day…feel like Satan’s getting a grip on me and I can’t get away.
Lord, I need your help…help me to climb to you
Help me to feel peace in you, to lose my anger and gain perspective in you
Show me the way I need to take to get away from this current frame of mind
Fill my mind and body with your Holy Spirit and send these feelings of hopeless and failure away from me!
Help me to know I can be everything you need me to be,
With you by my side, as my strength and my shield, my protector and my encourager
Fill me with your fruits of the spirit…give me extra servings of them through this week and this month
Break me yet again and continue to mold into what you need me to be.
Fill my life with your goodness and your love,
Help me be all you yearn for me to be
Let me rest in you…pray with you, fill my mind with your word, worship youBring me back to your feet Lord…back to where I know I need to be.
Numb to the war going on inside of me
Turmoil and pain, fear and depression
Confusion and anxiety overtake my mind
How do I possibly get through
Continue on day by day
Why do I feel like a prisoner to my emotions?
Why do I feel like a blur going through life?
I feel like a failure,
No matter what I do, I fail at it,
No matter what I say, it’s not right,
I feel unworthy to hold the positions in life that I have.
I don’t recognize myself in the mirror anymore,
I am a skelton of who I was
A person full of anger and helpless and depression
Not knowing how to get back to where I was.
God is my light and my guide,
Everything in life is possible with him by my side.
He never leaves, won’t forsake me,
No matter what the situation in life.
I can’t get to the light…can’t get to the top of the mountain.
I need to meet with him, commune with him
I feel like I’m sinking away from him
Falling farther each day…feel like Satan’s getting a grip on me and I can’t get away.
Lord, I need your help…help me to climb to you
Help me to feel peace in you, to lose my anger and gain perspective in you
Show me the way I need to take to get away from this current frame of mind
Fill my mind and body with your Holy Spirit and send these feelings of hopeless and failure away from me!
Help me to know I can be everything you need me to be,
With you by my side, as my strength and my shield, my protector and my encourager
Fill me with your fruits of the spirit…give me extra servings of them through this week and this month
Break me yet again and continue to mold into what you need me to be.
Fill my life with your goodness and your love,
Help me be all you yearn for me to be
Let me rest in you…pray with you, fill my mind with your word, worship youBring me back to your feet Lord…back to where I know I need to be.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Signing Off for a Short Time
I thought I would let everyone know that I'll be signing off my blog for a few weeks...God has revealed to me that I need to take time to be with him and my family...that I need to place all things to the side for the time being!
I will be back in a little bit...I pray God will continue to bless you all richly and be an encouragement and strength to you each and everyday...we'll talk to you soon!
I will be back in a little bit...I pray God will continue to bless you all richly and be an encouragement and strength to you each and everyday...we'll talk to you soon!
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Thank You Mom...I Love You!
I was one of four people to talk, about encouragement and how I had been encouraged, at our church's Mothers and Others Tea in May. I've been thinking about my mom a lot the last little while and thought I would blog my "talk". She's my example of perservance and strength, unconditional love, given me a positive example of marriage and reminds me to always live each moment of life to the fullest and with a smile on my face and in my heart! She's been on my heart a lot this week...through my mom's fight with kidney disease, I have see the truest form of true love and living out of your marriage vows through my parents. My dad is by my mom's side always...never complaining, always informed and concerned for her well-being...truly selfless love...for better or worse, in sickness and health. They have shown me that marriage and life isn't just about the good times...that there are ups and downs...but usually those times are the ones which strengthen our faith and strengthen us as a person...I love my parents so much and that's where this post comes from!
When I looked back at the past year, I realized how difficult a year it has been. This year for me was one full of uncertainty and stress, sadness and grief and the true realization of how sick my mom truly is! The other realization was the avenues of encouragement, which were with our family during this last year. My husband and best friend and my family are a constant source of encouragement. My small group, church family and friends are also a constant source of encouragement. During the good times this year, people have been there to encourage me with notes, telephone calls, hugs or handshakes during greeting times on Sundays and many other ways. During the harder times, people have encouraged me by offering to help me during weeks which were overwhelming or uncertain, through prayer for my family, especially my mom or simply by letting me know if I needed to talk, that I had a lot people I could call.
These may seem like very simplistic things, but I wanted you to remember that encouragement doesn’t have to be a big deal—it can simply be a phone call, e-mail, stopping to chat a couple of minutes or just dropping a note to someone to let them know you are thinking of them. What seems not so important to us could really be an encouragement or turning point of someone’s day! Many times God talks through the smaller things in life and he isn’t selective about who he chooses, so we need to remember that he might choose to use you or I in a big way, through something we think might be small or insignificant.
I think someone who does bring me a lot of encouragement in my life is my mom. She has always told me that I can do anything I put my mind to. As I began motherhood, my mom was always there if I needed help, but she has allowed me the blessing of learning and growing from my mistakes. She is always just a phone call away and even if she can’t be right there, because of distance, she always encourages me with laughter and humour, stories of when I was a child or just offering me loving concern.
My mom has strength of steel and a positive outlook, which helps her through all circumstances. My mom’s strength and perseverance, as she battled and beat cancer, and now as she battles kidney disease, are a constant encouragement to me. She has taught me how to live my life fully, no matter what roadblocks may come along the way. Even though she has discouraging days, uncertainty with her treatment, fatigue or a multitude of other things, she always manages to keep a positive attitude, sees the humorous side of things and is thankful for the fact she’s living a good life, filled with a multitude of blessings and love. She has taught me to always be there for those around you and that even on your worst days, by helping to brighten someone else’s day through laughter or a kind gesture, you will not only be an encouragement to them, but also will allow yourself to be uplifted and see the blessings you have been granted.
Prayer and scripture are a daily source of encouragement to me and I would like to share a verse I have claimed as a prayer and an encouragement in my life. Isaiah 40:29-31 says, “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
I’m thankful for the fact the Lord uses people sometimes in the smallest of ways, to be an encouragement in our lives. I’m blessed with an amazing family, church family and friends, who support and encourage me everyday, and I just wanted to say, “Thank You!” for your constant encouragement and love!
When I looked back at the past year, I realized how difficult a year it has been. This year for me was one full of uncertainty and stress, sadness and grief and the true realization of how sick my mom truly is! The other realization was the avenues of encouragement, which were with our family during this last year. My husband and best friend and my family are a constant source of encouragement. My small group, church family and friends are also a constant source of encouragement. During the good times this year, people have been there to encourage me with notes, telephone calls, hugs or handshakes during greeting times on Sundays and many other ways. During the harder times, people have encouraged me by offering to help me during weeks which were overwhelming or uncertain, through prayer for my family, especially my mom or simply by letting me know if I needed to talk, that I had a lot people I could call.
These may seem like very simplistic things, but I wanted you to remember that encouragement doesn’t have to be a big deal—it can simply be a phone call, e-mail, stopping to chat a couple of minutes or just dropping a note to someone to let them know you are thinking of them. What seems not so important to us could really be an encouragement or turning point of someone’s day! Many times God talks through the smaller things in life and he isn’t selective about who he chooses, so we need to remember that he might choose to use you or I in a big way, through something we think might be small or insignificant.
I think someone who does bring me a lot of encouragement in my life is my mom. She has always told me that I can do anything I put my mind to. As I began motherhood, my mom was always there if I needed help, but she has allowed me the blessing of learning and growing from my mistakes. She is always just a phone call away and even if she can’t be right there, because of distance, she always encourages me with laughter and humour, stories of when I was a child or just offering me loving concern.
My mom has strength of steel and a positive outlook, which helps her through all circumstances. My mom’s strength and perseverance, as she battled and beat cancer, and now as she battles kidney disease, are a constant encouragement to me. She has taught me how to live my life fully, no matter what roadblocks may come along the way. Even though she has discouraging days, uncertainty with her treatment, fatigue or a multitude of other things, she always manages to keep a positive attitude, sees the humorous side of things and is thankful for the fact she’s living a good life, filled with a multitude of blessings and love. She has taught me to always be there for those around you and that even on your worst days, by helping to brighten someone else’s day through laughter or a kind gesture, you will not only be an encouragement to them, but also will allow yourself to be uplifted and see the blessings you have been granted.
Prayer and scripture are a daily source of encouragement to me and I would like to share a verse I have claimed as a prayer and an encouragement in my life. Isaiah 40:29-31 says, “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
I’m thankful for the fact the Lord uses people sometimes in the smallest of ways, to be an encouragement in our lives. I’m blessed with an amazing family, church family and friends, who support and encourage me everyday, and I just wanted to say, “Thank You!” for your constant encouragement and love!
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Songs that Touch My Soul
These are two of my favorite worship songs...I was singing one this morning and thought I would post it and while doing so, stumbled across the words for the other. I love to store music in my memory bank...it seems that during my darkest or trying of times, some of the most beautiful worship songs come into my mind and allow me to escape...to meet with Christ and focus completely on him. What a wonderful avenue of opportunity you have given me...I'm blessed daily by worship music and the fact I'm able to come into your presence with it!
Isn’t He Beautiful?
Words and Music by JOHN WIMBER
Isn’t He beautiful?
Beautiful, oh, isn’t He?
Prince of Peace,
Son of God,
Isn’t He?
Isn’t He wonderful?
Wonderful, oh, isn’t he?
Counselor,
Almighty God,
Isn’t He, isn’t He,
isn’t He, isn’t He?
Yes, You are, beautiful.
Beautiful, oh, yes, You are.
Prince of Peace,
Son of God,
Yes, you are.
Yes, You are, wonderful.
Wonderful, oh, yes You are.
Counselor,
Almighty God,
Yes, You are, Yes, You are,
Yes, You are, Yes, You are.
Prince of Peace and Son of God,
Yes, You are, Yes, You are,
Yes, You are, Yes, You are.
How Deep the Father’s Love For Us
Written by Stuart Townend
How deep the Father’s love us
How vast beyond all measure.
That He should give His only son
And make a wretch His treasure.
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away.
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory.
Behold the man upon the cross
My sin upon his shoulder.
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers.
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished.
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished.
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom.
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection.
Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer.
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom.
Isn’t He Beautiful?
Words and Music by JOHN WIMBER
Isn’t He beautiful?
Beautiful, oh, isn’t He?
Prince of Peace,
Son of God,
Isn’t He?
Isn’t He wonderful?
Wonderful, oh, isn’t he?
Counselor,
Almighty God,
Isn’t He, isn’t He,
isn’t He, isn’t He?
Yes, You are, beautiful.
Beautiful, oh, yes, You are.
Prince of Peace,
Son of God,
Yes, you are.
Yes, You are, wonderful.
Wonderful, oh, yes You are.
Counselor,
Almighty God,
Yes, You are, Yes, You are,
Yes, You are, Yes, You are.
Prince of Peace and Son of God,
Yes, You are, Yes, You are,
Yes, You are, Yes, You are.
How Deep the Father’s Love For Us
Written by Stuart Townend
How deep the Father’s love us
How vast beyond all measure.
That He should give His only son
And make a wretch His treasure.
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away.
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory.
Behold the man upon the cross
My sin upon his shoulder.
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers.
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished.
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished.
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom.
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection.
Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer.
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom.
Prayer Life Makeover
I was reading this morning through one of my many notebooks...I have a lot of them! I always have a notebook or journal available for writing my thoughts, poems, songs, etc. When I go to a retreat, I always have a notebook to write down the speakers thoughts and promptings. This notebook had notes from a Ladies retreat I attended a couple of years ago and I thought I would share some of the speaker's thoughts.
Cleaning Out Our Prayer Closet, What Should We Throw Away?
1. Busyness
Cleaning Out Our Prayer Closet, What Should We Throw Away?
1. Busyness
- Need to make more time to pray
- When we are the busiest, we need prayer the most
2. Neglect and Fear
3. Don't Know How to Pray
- There's no right way to pray
Need a Special Place
We need a special prayer closet to be able to retreat to!
When Do You Pray?
- Doesn't really matter
- The Bible says to pray without ceasing
We need to begin our prayer lives with sitting and realizing how much God loves us! Then our response is to worship him with prayer.
Great Aids to Prayer
1. Simple Prayers
- Ordinary people bringing ordinary concerns to a loving Father.
2. Breath Prayers
- God give me strength for this day...if we prayed this as a breath prayer, simple but strong and meaningful!
3. Meditative Prayers
4. Holy Readings
- You get a word or phrase from a scripture being read and then talk with God about what it means for you.
I'm going to end with a quote from Mother Theresa..."God is the friend of silence."
Monday, January 23, 2006
You Are Holy and Righteous
I want to praise you,
Lift my hands to you.
I want to make a joyful noise,
Sing a song of praise to you.
Because you are Holy and Righteous,
My Savior, my Prince of Peace.
You are so worthy to be praised,
I will surrender all to you my Lord.
I want to worship you,
Lift my hands to you.
Bow before my Lord,
And praise you in Holy surrender.
Because you are Holy and Righteous,
My Savior, my Prince of Peace.
You are so worthy to be praised,
I will surrender all to you my Lord.
Mold my life,
Reveal your plans,
I long to be in your presence.
Be my guide,
Throughout my life,
Let me walk with you forever.
Because you are Holy and Righteous,
My Savior, my Prince of Peace.
You are so worthy to be praised,
I will surrender all to you my Lord.
I surrender all to you my Lord.
All to you my Lord.
Lift my hands to you.
I want to make a joyful noise,
Sing a song of praise to you.
Because you are Holy and Righteous,
My Savior, my Prince of Peace.
You are so worthy to be praised,
I will surrender all to you my Lord.
I want to worship you,
Lift my hands to you.
Bow before my Lord,
And praise you in Holy surrender.
Because you are Holy and Righteous,
My Savior, my Prince of Peace.
You are so worthy to be praised,
I will surrender all to you my Lord.
Mold my life,
Reveal your plans,
I long to be in your presence.
Be my guide,
Throughout my life,
Let me walk with you forever.
Because you are Holy and Righteous,
My Savior, my Prince of Peace.
You are so worthy to be praised,
I will surrender all to you my Lord.
I surrender all to you my Lord.
All to you my Lord.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Motherhood (A Mother's Prayer)
Never an easy task,
So often filled with uncertainty.
Not always knowing how to deal with what’s coming next.
The most important job I could ever have been given,
To mold and shape my children’s lives!
How do I possibly know what to do?
How do I show them all the things I want to?
To raise them to be the remarkable people I want them to be!
Lord Jesus, I entrust my children to you,
I lay them lovingly and caringly at your feet.
Show me how to raise them with love,
Teach me to be patient and to lay my worries and fears at your feet always.
Help me deal with the daily challenges,
Help me not to get down as a result of my frustrations and the bad days.
I thank you for this remarkable task,
The gift of motherhood and the precious gift you gave me--my children!
I wrote this for my kids on a very trying day a couple of years ago...I love being their mother more than I can express...some days in parenting are definitely harder than others! There are days when you look in the mirror and think God why do you think I'm the right one...those days when the person looking back from the mirror isn't always the best of examples. I'm praying this year for more and more patience...hoping I'll be the best example to my kids I can when it comes to their spiritual walk, having patience, sweating the small stuff and doing what's right in the eyes of God!
Then there are those days when you get a comment like, "Mommy, your the bestest in the whole wide world!" and the daily I love you's, hugs, kisses and budding senses of humors...that confirms my thoughts that they are true God-given blessings...our lives would definitely have a void without them there. I am truly blessed in this lifetime, no matter what the situation or season of life...thanking God for that!
Eyes Fixed on Him
A daily devotional and prayer time with God...I've struggled to obtain a concreted one in the first 13 years of my walk. I don't really know why...I know when I first became a Christian, I started out reading right from the beginning...our pastor talked about this in church a few weeks ago and I had to laugh because he was so dead on the mark...about how you get through the first couple of books and then you hit Leviticus and Numbers and you get really bogged down...that was a real understatement for how I felt in those books for the first time! No one told me where to start...when I was first married, it was a struggle, as I was so sick (pregnancy induced) that first year and then was sleep-deprived for the next few after that, while growing our family!
So what have I done to change this? I came to the realization that I needed to fill my life with his word if I expected to grow closer to Him! In the last few years, I have started bringing my Bible in the van...when my kids were in public school, I got a lot of Bible reading done while waiting for them after school. I read a lot when we are travelling on the highway...when my hubby's driving of course! In the the last few years though, I've longed for that stronger relationship with Him...I've tried a few different reading programs and am currently in one which allows me to read from 7 different parts of the Bible in a year...my goal is to have it completed in a year....the last couple of years, I've almost made it...this year I plan on being successful!
My prayer life just kind of grew as I grew in him...that's the part which has always kind of been there. My problem is that I don't always speak my prayers...somedays I journal them...I have a few prayer journals...one for a praying mom, one which is a devotional and a prayer journal and then a plain journal that I write freely in. This may seem silly, but I have a prayer box...I read it somewhere, that to allow you to carve the time, this allows some starting points throughout your day. I have topics in there, such as my current church (vision, etc.), the pastoral staff, the families of the church, the ministries of the church, the board, my province, country and the government, my family (both saved and unsaved), my friends (both saved and unsaved), my kids and their future, my husband in many aspects and myself in many aspects. Do I always use this as my prayer avenue? No, I have most of my times where I'm in a quiet place talking with him about what's on my heart and what he prompts, but it does allow an opportunity on those hairy days to pick a few cards and pray for the contents, plus then just talking time with God.
I've learned a lot in the last 7 months about learning to discern God's voice, through all the static and interference you often hear. I listened to a lot of Casting Crowns music on my travels this summer...I travelled between two cities for a little over a month, as we waited for our house to sell and I wrapped things up at my job with our former church. Some of their songs spoke to me heavily...I'm going to quote part of one and also one of the scriptures they gave with the song...it has really helped me in knowing that some of the decisions made in the past months have been the correct ones...I'm so amazingly at peace right now, which is definitely the amazing part of surrendering all aspects of life to him!
Voice of Truth
Casting Crowns (from Casting Crowns), 2003
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again, "Boy'll, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given to me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
So what have I done to change this? I came to the realization that I needed to fill my life with his word if I expected to grow closer to Him! In the last few years, I have started bringing my Bible in the van...when my kids were in public school, I got a lot of Bible reading done while waiting for them after school. I read a lot when we are travelling on the highway...when my hubby's driving of course! In the the last few years though, I've longed for that stronger relationship with Him...I've tried a few different reading programs and am currently in one which allows me to read from 7 different parts of the Bible in a year...my goal is to have it completed in a year....the last couple of years, I've almost made it...this year I plan on being successful!
My prayer life just kind of grew as I grew in him...that's the part which has always kind of been there. My problem is that I don't always speak my prayers...somedays I journal them...I have a few prayer journals...one for a praying mom, one which is a devotional and a prayer journal and then a plain journal that I write freely in. This may seem silly, but I have a prayer box...I read it somewhere, that to allow you to carve the time, this allows some starting points throughout your day. I have topics in there, such as my current church (vision, etc.), the pastoral staff, the families of the church, the ministries of the church, the board, my province, country and the government, my family (both saved and unsaved), my friends (both saved and unsaved), my kids and their future, my husband in many aspects and myself in many aspects. Do I always use this as my prayer avenue? No, I have most of my times where I'm in a quiet place talking with him about what's on my heart and what he prompts, but it does allow an opportunity on those hairy days to pick a few cards and pray for the contents, plus then just talking time with God.
I've learned a lot in the last 7 months about learning to discern God's voice, through all the static and interference you often hear. I listened to a lot of Casting Crowns music on my travels this summer...I travelled between two cities for a little over a month, as we waited for our house to sell and I wrapped things up at my job with our former church. Some of their songs spoke to me heavily...I'm going to quote part of one and also one of the scriptures they gave with the song...it has really helped me in knowing that some of the decisions made in the past months have been the correct ones...I'm so amazingly at peace right now, which is definitely the amazing part of surrendering all aspects of life to him!
Voice of Truth
Casting Crowns (from Casting Crowns), 2003
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again, "Boy'll, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given to me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Finally Some Pain Relief
I've had an interesting year in terms of health...we won't go there today! Since our move, I've battled with some really bad recurring headaches...had went a little over a month without one and then they started up again at New Year's. I've also battled stiffness in my fingers, arms, legs and neck since the end of November. I just figured it was a mixture of everyday living, stress and me getting older, so I kind of just went along in life. My hubby got me to go to the doctor last week, as I've never been one to have a lot of headaches...we had a friend earlier this fall who started having really bad headaches and it ended up being an aneurysm...he beat the odds and survived it, but it has changed our thinking in how we look at a lot things.
So my doctor told me I have a virus...I didn't really think a virus could survive that long in your body, but apparently it can. I couldn't get my medication though, as with the move, we didn't receive our health care stickers...apparently I could have got it and submitted stuff, but I was stubborn and waited for the sticker to come in the mail. So I have this anti-inflammatory to take...it makes the pain go away extremely fast! The downside, as with a lot of medications for me...the side effects...I get them...so I guess I'll suffer through them and hope that in two weeks, the pain will stay away.
I guess today is a venting post...it's funny how people say that I'm not telling the whole truth because I don't always say how I'm feeling healthwise. It's not that I choose to "lie", but that I've learned to tell people what they want to hear. I've learned to realize when someone is truly asking how you're feeling and when someone is just asking because it's the right thing to ask. I've had my share of health battles this year...I've seen more of a doctor's office than I really cared to and more than I had in a long time...I don't like to be sick, don't like the looks you get when you say you're sick yet again and just figure it's best to say things are going as good as can be expected. If that's lying, then I guess I'm guilty...sorry, but until you've seen the eye rolling looks over you being continually sick, then you probably won't understand the logic behind it!
I'm going to end with quotes today...I like to have calendars with quotes and scriptures around, so I can draw from God's words, but also gain insight from others as well!
So my doctor told me I have a virus...I didn't really think a virus could survive that long in your body, but apparently it can. I couldn't get my medication though, as with the move, we didn't receive our health care stickers...apparently I could have got it and submitted stuff, but I was stubborn and waited for the sticker to come in the mail. So I have this anti-inflammatory to take...it makes the pain go away extremely fast! The downside, as with a lot of medications for me...the side effects...I get them...so I guess I'll suffer through them and hope that in two weeks, the pain will stay away.
I guess today is a venting post...it's funny how people say that I'm not telling the whole truth because I don't always say how I'm feeling healthwise. It's not that I choose to "lie", but that I've learned to tell people what they want to hear. I've learned to realize when someone is truly asking how you're feeling and when someone is just asking because it's the right thing to ask. I've had my share of health battles this year...I've seen more of a doctor's office than I really cared to and more than I had in a long time...I don't like to be sick, don't like the looks you get when you say you're sick yet again and just figure it's best to say things are going as good as can be expected. If that's lying, then I guess I'm guilty...sorry, but until you've seen the eye rolling looks over you being continually sick, then you probably won't understand the logic behind it!
I'm going to end with quotes today...I like to have calendars with quotes and scriptures around, so I can draw from God's words, but also gain insight from others as well!
"We can do no great things, only small things with great love."
--Mother Teresa
"Each one of us is God's special work of art. Through us, He teaches and inspires, delights and encourages, informs and uplifts all those who view our lives."
--Joni Eareckson Tada
"The Lord your God...will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."
--Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV)
"Be content with who you are, and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you; he'll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you."
--1 Peter 5:6-7 (MSG)
Sunday, January 15, 2006
13 Years Ago Today
It's hard to believe that 13 years ago today I made the decision to accept Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior! Time has flown by so fast! I was in my Grade 12 year at school and it was a couple months before my birthday...I like to tell people that it was my early birthday and graduation present to myself.
It was kind of funny how things happened! I grew up Presbyterian and was taught about God, prayed, learned to have great faith in God in all circumstances, learned that as a follower of Christ, the greatest thing you can do is to serve him in all aspects of your life, including the church...I attribute my parent's teaching to why I have learned to have such faith in God, no matter what circumstances arise. They gave me an awesome spiritual foundation and I love them so much for that! My parents were heavily involved in our church...my dad was the head of the board and often took the services when our minister was away...I often attribute that to the fact of why I always have an inkly to start taking classes to get a pastoral degree (more realistic will be to take a two year program in Reglious Studies), as I would sit with him at the kitchen table as he prepared his sermons. I usually ended up leading our youth services on those Sundays when we took the service and helped introduce my little Presbyterian church and our youth choir to Petra and Michael W. Smith. I was also known as the kid who refused to be confirmed into the church 3 times...let me tell you, that doesn't go over well when your dad is involved in the church the way mine was! The first two times were because I didn't feel ready, because of my age and then because of where I was in life. The last time, as everyone said, she'd become "born-again"...I knew I was leaving home for college and would be attending a different church, so I did not feel a need to go through the motions of tradition.
It's really interesting how things play out sometimes...I went through a really hard stage of rebellion in my teens...I really dragged my parents through the wringer! They were amazing parents...parented me the best they could...our story is living proof that your child may stray from the path, but if you stick by them no matter what, they very well might find their way back. Through everything they told me that they loved me and would always love me, no matter what played out in my life! I was a honor roll and music student (loved choir and concert & jazz band), taking advanced classes and hanging out with one of the worst crowds in the school. Somehow I managed to get myself into a really abusive relationship, began smoking (only at school and friend's houses), had thoughts of suicide cross my mind on more than one occasion, attempted to run away from home twice and had one of the worst attitudes you could have...I look back and don't even recognize that girl, can't explain why I made the choices I did, but truly believe that it happen for a reason! I have a huge heart and understanding nature for teen runaways, for girls and women who are, or have been, in abusive relationships, for those kids who come from a good home, but end up looking like they've thrown it all away and no one understands why or how they could do that (I totally understand why and how they could do that!) and for all those people who have a past, but end up laying it all down at Christ's feet, and no matter how hard it is, they eventually realize that he accepts you no matter where you've been or what you've done!
My youth pastor led the devotion which stirred my heart and brought me to the realization that I needed to asked forgiveness and accept Christ personally! He introduced me to the world of worship singing, youth leading and children's ministries, the world of church office administration, became one of my many examples of how to balance a spouse, family and church ministry properly and...he's the pastor who married us! He told me this very important statement shortly after I had committed my life to Christ...I was struggling to truly accept God's grace...these words impacted me and stay with me always...he told me that you can choose to be a victim to your past, or you can choose to find a positive aspect out of your past! For me, that meant not being ashamed of the road I'd went down, counseling girls from abusive relationships as a young youth leader, to always have an understanding heart towards people and to never judge anyone's choices in life!
A year and a half before I made my commitment to Christ, everything fell to pieces. As I was picking the pieces of my life up and starting over, I remember praying to God and telling him I was sorry that I'd hurt him and my family. I asked him to help me turn my life around...I told him that if he would reveal a different road for me to take, I would do a 360, turn, take that road and never look back! I truly believe that on January 15, 1993, he revealed that road to me and I took it, followed and am continuing to follow it and will NEVER look back!
1 Timothy 1:13-16 (New International Reader's Version)
I used to speak evil things against Jesus. I tried to hurt his followers. I really pushed them around. But God showed me mercy anyway. I did those things without knowing any better. I wasn't a believer. Our Lord poured out more and more of his grace on me. Along with it came faith and love from Christ Jesus. Here is a saying that you can trust. It should be accepted completely. Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners. And I am the worst sinner of all. But for that very reason, God showed me mercy. And I am the worst of sinners. He showed me mercy so that Christ Jesus could show that he is very patient. I was an example for those who would come to believe in him. Then they would receive eternal life.
It was kind of funny how things happened! I grew up Presbyterian and was taught about God, prayed, learned to have great faith in God in all circumstances, learned that as a follower of Christ, the greatest thing you can do is to serve him in all aspects of your life, including the church...I attribute my parent's teaching to why I have learned to have such faith in God, no matter what circumstances arise. They gave me an awesome spiritual foundation and I love them so much for that! My parents were heavily involved in our church...my dad was the head of the board and often took the services when our minister was away...I often attribute that to the fact of why I always have an inkly to start taking classes to get a pastoral degree (more realistic will be to take a two year program in Reglious Studies), as I would sit with him at the kitchen table as he prepared his sermons. I usually ended up leading our youth services on those Sundays when we took the service and helped introduce my little Presbyterian church and our youth choir to Petra and Michael W. Smith. I was also known as the kid who refused to be confirmed into the church 3 times...let me tell you, that doesn't go over well when your dad is involved in the church the way mine was! The first two times were because I didn't feel ready, because of my age and then because of where I was in life. The last time, as everyone said, she'd become "born-again"...I knew I was leaving home for college and would be attending a different church, so I did not feel a need to go through the motions of tradition.
It's really interesting how things play out sometimes...I went through a really hard stage of rebellion in my teens...I really dragged my parents through the wringer! They were amazing parents...parented me the best they could...our story is living proof that your child may stray from the path, but if you stick by them no matter what, they very well might find their way back. Through everything they told me that they loved me and would always love me, no matter what played out in my life! I was a honor roll and music student (loved choir and concert & jazz band), taking advanced classes and hanging out with one of the worst crowds in the school. Somehow I managed to get myself into a really abusive relationship, began smoking (only at school and friend's houses), had thoughts of suicide cross my mind on more than one occasion, attempted to run away from home twice and had one of the worst attitudes you could have...I look back and don't even recognize that girl, can't explain why I made the choices I did, but truly believe that it happen for a reason! I have a huge heart and understanding nature for teen runaways, for girls and women who are, or have been, in abusive relationships, for those kids who come from a good home, but end up looking like they've thrown it all away and no one understands why or how they could do that (I totally understand why and how they could do that!) and for all those people who have a past, but end up laying it all down at Christ's feet, and no matter how hard it is, they eventually realize that he accepts you no matter where you've been or what you've done!
My youth pastor led the devotion which stirred my heart and brought me to the realization that I needed to asked forgiveness and accept Christ personally! He introduced me to the world of worship singing, youth leading and children's ministries, the world of church office administration, became one of my many examples of how to balance a spouse, family and church ministry properly and...he's the pastor who married us! He told me this very important statement shortly after I had committed my life to Christ...I was struggling to truly accept God's grace...these words impacted me and stay with me always...he told me that you can choose to be a victim to your past, or you can choose to find a positive aspect out of your past! For me, that meant not being ashamed of the road I'd went down, counseling girls from abusive relationships as a young youth leader, to always have an understanding heart towards people and to never judge anyone's choices in life!
A year and a half before I made my commitment to Christ, everything fell to pieces. As I was picking the pieces of my life up and starting over, I remember praying to God and telling him I was sorry that I'd hurt him and my family. I asked him to help me turn my life around...I told him that if he would reveal a different road for me to take, I would do a 360, turn, take that road and never look back! I truly believe that on January 15, 1993, he revealed that road to me and I took it, followed and am continuing to follow it and will NEVER look back!
1 Timothy 1:13-16 (New International Reader's Version)
I used to speak evil things against Jesus. I tried to hurt his followers. I really pushed them around. But God showed me mercy anyway. I did those things without knowing any better. I wasn't a believer. Our Lord poured out more and more of his grace on me. Along with it came faith and love from Christ Jesus. Here is a saying that you can trust. It should be accepted completely. Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners. And I am the worst sinner of all. But for that very reason, God showed me mercy. And I am the worst of sinners. He showed me mercy so that Christ Jesus could show that he is very patient. I was an example for those who would come to believe in him. Then they would receive eternal life.
Friday, January 13, 2006
My Soul Mate
I have been blessed,
With the most amazing gift.
You were heaven-sent with love for me,
My soul mate forever and always.
You have such a loving heart,
The ability to reach me when no one else can.
A gentle nature fills your body and soul,
You are always true and an open book.
Your willingness to serve the Lord amazes me,
Your love for your family fills my heart with overflowing joy.
I watch you from the distance with deepest love and admiration,
So honored to be the one God chose for you!
I thank God everyday for blessing my life with you,
I can only hope and pray for an eternity for our love to grow to its deepest levels.
There are no guarantees each of us will be here tomorrow,
With the most amazing gift.
You were heaven-sent with love for me,
My soul mate forever and always.
You have such a loving heart,
The ability to reach me when no one else can.
A gentle nature fills your body and soul,
You are always true and an open book.
Your willingness to serve the Lord amazes me,
Your love for your family fills my heart with overflowing joy.
I watch you from the distance with deepest love and admiration,
So honored to be the one God chose for you!
I thank God everyday for blessing my life with you,
I can only hope and pray for an eternity for our love to grow to its deepest levels.
There are no guarantees each of us will be here tomorrow,
So I pray I will cherish ever moment with you as if it were our last!
Whom Therefore God Has Joined Together, Let No Any Man Put Assunder
Three posts in three days...that won't always happen! Why this post? I'm feeling extremely fortunate to have my man by my side...he was handpicked by God for me and I love him more everyday! The words in my title were probably the most traditional things about our wedding...my parents had this end their ceremony and I stood my ground for it to end mine as well. The one thing which blew people away, was the fact that before my sweetie would propose to me, he drove to my parents house and asked their permission to marry me. That was considered extremely "old-fashioned" in our time, but man did it make me feel special and extremely loved and cared for! It showed who he truly was to my parents...he sent them a letter afterwards, thanking them for allowing him to marry me...I've never seen that letter, but I know it concreted in my parents minds how strong his love and devotion truly was for me!
When we got married, the norm was to purchase invitations, etc. We got someone to take pictures of us and our rings, got them put on CD and made our own invitations...before digital cameras. Made our own wedding programs, my mom and grandma insisted on making our cake...the bakery decorated that. I altered and wore my mom's dress, but made my own headpiece...my sweetie and my sister came with me to make sure the alterations were all good...man, did we hear about that one, seeing me in my dress and all...oh no, what will we do! There were 6 weddings that day, so we had our pictures taken before the ceremony...heard about that as well! We didn't use the traditional wedding music...I walked down the aisle to "Jesus in Your Eyes" by Julie and Buddy Miller (an amazing song from an amazing singer), our wedding party came into "Jesu, Joy" by Bach (my favorite composer...I'm a romantic at heart), so when we left the church, we found "Jesu, Joy" played by the Bowker Brothers (two amazing Christian pianists), left in a 60's convertible with a hooga horn and stopped at 7-11 for Big Gulps on the way back to the hotel for a quick rest in between things! (Boy, did the 7-11 staff have deer-in-the-headlight looks when our whole wedding party walked in...dressed in our wedding attire of course!). That was the other thing...we only had two people stand up for us and then had a ring bearer and flower girl...we didn't want a big performance, we just wanted to start our life together...never have wanted a ton of attention! Driving home with the wedding gifts and some of my "old" furniture for the new house...the mirror for the dresser, which we thought was tied down good, somehow broke loose, flew through the air like a huge frisbee over one car and landed on the highway in front of my sister and our best man's car...went to see what was left and found nothing but a lot of little toothpicks! Some of our superstitious relatives flipped about the bad luck we would receive...we're not superstitious, so we've just used it as a joke factor throughout the years...it's tended to lighten the mood during some of those bumpy roads!
Why did I decide to blog this? I was reading an on-line magazine "Marriage Uncensored" the other day. Marriage Uncensored is actually a ministry of FamilyLife Canada...their website is www.marriageuncensored.com ...I promote FamilyLife's ministries anytime I can...they are an amazing organization. Anyhow, I'm going to print a part of the article where they quoted The Times and Stats Canada, talking about how people no longer feel the need to have "To death do us part" as part of their vows and also that a majority of Canadians would not feel the need to stay married if they weren't happy. That really alarmed me...marriage at times can be a roller coaster ride...everything in life has it's ups and downs, but to give up and not ride it out, just because you're not happy...you're not guaranteed happiness by walking away! Here's the quotes:
"A recent article in The Times newspaper reports that, increasingly, modern brides are exchanging traditional "till death do us part" vows in favour of more realistic alternatives. Recognizing that a lifelong marriage to one person is becoming more and more uncommon, young couples are using phrases like, "I promise to be loyal as long as love lasts," or "until our time together is over," to encapsulate their commitment - such as it is. This is not a fringe movement, either. One wedding planner claims she can't remember the last time a couple promised to stay together until death separates them. As Sharon Naylor, author of Your Special Wedding Vows , explains, "(Couples today) understand that you do not make a promise you cannot keep."
A 1998 Statistics Canada study found that a majority of Canadians would not remain married if they were unhappy. A full 60% of Canadians believe that divorce is the best solution for couples who can't work out their marriage problems.(1) In fact, only one third of Canadian women say they would stay married if they weren't happy."
You know...I was a young bride, in my very early twenties...but I knew what I was doing and was ready to take the "plunge" forever, regardless of what played out, as I knew my sweetie was handpicked by God for me and that with him in control of it, we'd be great together no matter what! After we said our vows, we then pledged our faith to each other...I'm so glad we said it the way we did. Three-quarters of our wedding attenders didn't know Christ, so I guess you could say that we wanted our wedding to be a "subliminal" message to people...people let us know right from the day and even months after, that our wedding caused them to think, was different than most they attended (in a good way). We were glad for that...it was a celebration of our start together and we wanted everyone to know we were together FOREVER...what an AMAZING ride it's been!
"I take you to be my wedded wife/husband, to live together according to the pattern of God's Holy Word. I will love and cherish you, honor and sustain you, in sickness and in health. I pledge myself to be true and loyal to you until the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, or until God separates us by death."
Mr. Cinder...I'm yours forever and always and I wouldn't have it any other way!
When we got married, the norm was to purchase invitations, etc. We got someone to take pictures of us and our rings, got them put on CD and made our own invitations...before digital cameras. Made our own wedding programs, my mom and grandma insisted on making our cake...the bakery decorated that. I altered and wore my mom's dress, but made my own headpiece...my sweetie and my sister came with me to make sure the alterations were all good...man, did we hear about that one, seeing me in my dress and all...oh no, what will we do! There were 6 weddings that day, so we had our pictures taken before the ceremony...heard about that as well! We didn't use the traditional wedding music...I walked down the aisle to "Jesus in Your Eyes" by Julie and Buddy Miller (an amazing song from an amazing singer), our wedding party came into "Jesu, Joy" by Bach (my favorite composer...I'm a romantic at heart), so when we left the church, we found "Jesu, Joy" played by the Bowker Brothers (two amazing Christian pianists), left in a 60's convertible with a hooga horn and stopped at 7-11 for Big Gulps on the way back to the hotel for a quick rest in between things! (Boy, did the 7-11 staff have deer-in-the-headlight looks when our whole wedding party walked in...dressed in our wedding attire of course!). That was the other thing...we only had two people stand up for us and then had a ring bearer and flower girl...we didn't want a big performance, we just wanted to start our life together...never have wanted a ton of attention! Driving home with the wedding gifts and some of my "old" furniture for the new house...the mirror for the dresser, which we thought was tied down good, somehow broke loose, flew through the air like a huge frisbee over one car and landed on the highway in front of my sister and our best man's car...went to see what was left and found nothing but a lot of little toothpicks! Some of our superstitious relatives flipped about the bad luck we would receive...we're not superstitious, so we've just used it as a joke factor throughout the years...it's tended to lighten the mood during some of those bumpy roads!
Why did I decide to blog this? I was reading an on-line magazine "Marriage Uncensored" the other day. Marriage Uncensored is actually a ministry of FamilyLife Canada...their website is www.marriageuncensored.com ...I promote FamilyLife's ministries anytime I can...they are an amazing organization. Anyhow, I'm going to print a part of the article where they quoted The Times and Stats Canada, talking about how people no longer feel the need to have "To death do us part" as part of their vows and also that a majority of Canadians would not feel the need to stay married if they weren't happy. That really alarmed me...marriage at times can be a roller coaster ride...everything in life has it's ups and downs, but to give up and not ride it out, just because you're not happy...you're not guaranteed happiness by walking away! Here's the quotes:
"A recent article in The Times newspaper reports that, increasingly, modern brides are exchanging traditional "till death do us part" vows in favour of more realistic alternatives. Recognizing that a lifelong marriage to one person is becoming more and more uncommon, young couples are using phrases like, "I promise to be loyal as long as love lasts," or "until our time together is over," to encapsulate their commitment - such as it is. This is not a fringe movement, either. One wedding planner claims she can't remember the last time a couple promised to stay together until death separates them. As Sharon Naylor, author of Your Special Wedding Vows , explains, "(Couples today) understand that you do not make a promise you cannot keep."
A 1998 Statistics Canada study found that a majority of Canadians would not remain married if they were unhappy. A full 60% of Canadians believe that divorce is the best solution for couples who can't work out their marriage problems.(1) In fact, only one third of Canadian women say they would stay married if they weren't happy."
You know...I was a young bride, in my very early twenties...but I knew what I was doing and was ready to take the "plunge" forever, regardless of what played out, as I knew my sweetie was handpicked by God for me and that with him in control of it, we'd be great together no matter what! After we said our vows, we then pledged our faith to each other...I'm so glad we said it the way we did. Three-quarters of our wedding attenders didn't know Christ, so I guess you could say that we wanted our wedding to be a "subliminal" message to people...people let us know right from the day and even months after, that our wedding caused them to think, was different than most they attended (in a good way). We were glad for that...it was a celebration of our start together and we wanted everyone to know we were together FOREVER...what an AMAZING ride it's been!
"I take you to be my wedded wife/husband, to live together according to the pattern of God's Holy Word. I will love and cherish you, honor and sustain you, in sickness and in health. I pledge myself to be true and loyal to you until the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, or until God separates us by death."
Mr. Cinder...I'm yours forever and always and I wouldn't have it any other way!
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Surrendering to You
Lord Jesus, I love you,
Break my soul down.
Mold me into the creation you want me to be,
Allow your beauty to shine through me everyday.
I thank you for your gentle spirit,
For the amazing love you show me each day.
Help me not to do things on my own,
Teach me to lean on you and trust in you.
Help me to lay my worries and fears at your feet,
Allow me to be in complete and total surrender to you.
Break me of my old and unfaithful ways,
Help me to come to you for guidance and love.
Reveal to me your plan for my life,
Gently mold my spirit to where you want it.
Bring me to my knees in praise and adoration,
Humble my heart before you.
Help me to become more like you,
Give me a gentle spirit and a loving heart always.
Allow me to live my life completely for you,
Lead me down the path you have chosen for me.
I pray I will be obedient to you always,
That your light will guide my way, no matter where you take me.
Shine your light through me,
Let your love and Holy Spirit consume my whole being.
Let your word transform my mind to what you want it to think,
I pray your will for my life will be the roadmap I use each and everyday!
Allow your will to unfold in my life today,
Mold me into the person you want me to be.
Break my soul down.
Mold me into the creation you want me to be,
Allow your beauty to shine through me everyday.
I thank you for your gentle spirit,
For the amazing love you show me each day.
Help me not to do things on my own,
Teach me to lean on you and trust in you.
Help me to lay my worries and fears at your feet,
Allow me to be in complete and total surrender to you.
Break me of my old and unfaithful ways,
Help me to come to you for guidance and love.
Reveal to me your plan for my life,
Gently mold my spirit to where you want it.
Bring me to my knees in praise and adoration,
Humble my heart before you.
Help me to become more like you,
Give me a gentle spirit and a loving heart always.
Allow me to live my life completely for you,
Lead me down the path you have chosen for me.
I pray I will be obedient to you always,
That your light will guide my way, no matter where you take me.
Shine your light through me,
Let your love and Holy Spirit consume my whole being.
Let your word transform my mind to what you want it to think,
I pray your will for my life will be the roadmap I use each and everyday!
Allow your will to unfold in my life today,
Mold me into the person you want me to be.
Total Surrender
"The Lord your God is one; so love the Lord God will all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy."
Sometimes the biggest challenge in my Christian walk is to totally surrender everything...even when I do, I always seem to end up taking something and putting it back on my plate...I don't really know why I do it. I've had the great pleasure of being able to go to prayer every Wednesday...no matter what frame of mind I go in, I always walk away being blessed by God and my friends who enter that room each week. Last night a friend prayed that we would focus ourselves on God this year, not on people, places, situations, etc.
I took that line home with me...thought through it as I shopped for our never-ending grocery list (the staples which we inhale on a weekly basis...my husband and I joke about the fact we need a cow and a flour mill to keep up!) It mulled through my self-concious last night as I slept and was still with me this morning. As a result of our move, I seemed to focus myself anywhere but with God...I stayed rooted on the people and place I left, on the fear of starting over and having to meet new people, get involved in new and sometimes different ministries, having to find new friends, mentors and accountability people...at times I made sure I was as far away from God as I could possibly be. Last night I thought about it...that's not who I am, who I've ever attempted to be...I think I thought I would lose all my friendships if I didn't "stay in the past", but I honestly don't know what I thought. We moved to an amazing church...it fits us in ways we've been looking for a long time...it's bigger than our old one and coming in I assumed they wouldn't have places for us to fit in...I love to serve God alongside others through ministry and there was an intense fear of not being needed to do that...an intense fear of failure or not measuring up...but there have been places, some familiar ministries and some new undertakings...no imaginary success bars which have to be obtained, continual praise for anything you're able to offer to God and an intense welcome into the circle to serve Christ together.
I determined last night that my goal for this year is to fix my eyes completely on God. I want to live like Mark 12:30...I want to love him with everything I have to give, with every aspect of my life...when I'm closest to him is when I have my greatest inspirations, love of life, peace and "god" ventures. I no longer want to be prisoner to my saddness and depression about my move, but instead want to be built up and encouraged by the new friends he's given me, the new opportunities and ways of life he's brought me and the clearer feeling of his presence each day. I need to quit focusing my energy on the past, people and places and start focusing it on him...we have a picture, actually a hard-mounted poster, about riding tandem on a bike with Jesus and at the end it talks about giving total control to God and letting him have the handlebars. Total surrender...as scary as it seems sometimes for me, that's what I'm going to do this year, because I know I'm at my best in life when I'm able to totally surrender him all aspects of my life...what an adventure we'll have during 2006--I can't wait!
Mark 12:30 (The Message)
Sometimes the biggest challenge in my Christian walk is to totally surrender everything...even when I do, I always seem to end up taking something and putting it back on my plate...I don't really know why I do it. I've had the great pleasure of being able to go to prayer every Wednesday...no matter what frame of mind I go in, I always walk away being blessed by God and my friends who enter that room each week. Last night a friend prayed that we would focus ourselves on God this year, not on people, places, situations, etc.
I took that line home with me...thought through it as I shopped for our never-ending grocery list (the staples which we inhale on a weekly basis...my husband and I joke about the fact we need a cow and a flour mill to keep up!) It mulled through my self-concious last night as I slept and was still with me this morning. As a result of our move, I seemed to focus myself anywhere but with God...I stayed rooted on the people and place I left, on the fear of starting over and having to meet new people, get involved in new and sometimes different ministries, having to find new friends, mentors and accountability people...at times I made sure I was as far away from God as I could possibly be. Last night I thought about it...that's not who I am, who I've ever attempted to be...I think I thought I would lose all my friendships if I didn't "stay in the past", but I honestly don't know what I thought. We moved to an amazing church...it fits us in ways we've been looking for a long time...it's bigger than our old one and coming in I assumed they wouldn't have places for us to fit in...I love to serve God alongside others through ministry and there was an intense fear of not being needed to do that...an intense fear of failure or not measuring up...but there have been places, some familiar ministries and some new undertakings...no imaginary success bars which have to be obtained, continual praise for anything you're able to offer to God and an intense welcome into the circle to serve Christ together.
I determined last night that my goal for this year is to fix my eyes completely on God. I want to live like Mark 12:30...I want to love him with everything I have to give, with every aspect of my life...when I'm closest to him is when I have my greatest inspirations, love of life, peace and "god" ventures. I no longer want to be prisoner to my saddness and depression about my move, but instead want to be built up and encouraged by the new friends he's given me, the new opportunities and ways of life he's brought me and the clearer feeling of his presence each day. I need to quit focusing my energy on the past, people and places and start focusing it on him...we have a picture, actually a hard-mounted poster, about riding tandem on a bike with Jesus and at the end it talks about giving total control to God and letting him have the handlebars. Total surrender...as scary as it seems sometimes for me, that's what I'm going to do this year, because I know I'm at my best in life when I'm able to totally surrender him all aspects of my life...what an adventure we'll have during 2006--I can't wait!
Monday, January 09, 2006
Society's Boxes
It's funny how society seems to have boxes which everyone fits into, and if you don't fit into those particular boxes, you're considered to be out of the norm! Along with those boxes come certain expectations and rules expected of the people in those boxes. I've never tended to "fit" into my expected box...I don't believe in people having a certain box...I like to live outside the box when I can. As I've said before, being a follower of Christ, wife and a mother are three of my greatest blessings, but a lot of times, society's view of being a wife and a mother seem to overshadow the important fact of me being a follower of Christ.
I got married in my early 20's and we began our family pretty soon afterwards. So I guess you could say I'm a young mom of three...some would say I just don't want to grow up and be completely in my roles, but that's definitely not the case! I don't think I do my husband or my kids any justice by giving up every part of myself...the things which make me who I am...my hobbies, passions for life and ministry, my dreams and aspirations for life, etc. Last year for my birthday, my husband bought me a guitar...I've wanted one for a while, but never looked at them, because I always make sure my family's need are taken care of before my own...that's what you do when you're a wife and a mom! I grew up playing piano and trumpet...being in band allowed me the chance to experiment with my friend's instruments, so I've tried everything over the sun...my sister played the french horn, so we traded and taught each other to play...I began singing on a worship team as a teen and sometimes played drums in the band. I love to write poetry and sometimes take that a step further and attempt to write songs...if I'm in a real adventurous mood, I'll write music for them as well. So, I've always wanted to learn another instrument and both my husband and I thought a guitar would be a good thing, as I could have it with me when writing music for my songs...it's a little more portable than the piano! The reactions I got about my birthday gift were funny...why on earth would I ask for a guitar? I apparently should have asked for something a little more practical, less frivolous and more in line with what a person in my roles of life should ask for!
I guess you could say that I don't like to conform to society's boxes...I like to say that I enjoy living outside the boxes of life! Earlier this fall, I was struggling with a real battle...God was prompting me to go outside my box, but I'd kind of backed down and began to live in my expected box...so I kept telling God there was no way I could say yes to what he was asking...my excuses were that I was a wife, a mom (a new homeschooling mom at that) and that made me a wrong candidate for what he wanted. Then one of my pastors...our church is blessed with three truly gifted and God-led pastors...preached on Rahab and the faith of a prostitute. His sermon spoke mountains to me about the fact that God doesn't conform to boxes...a paraphrase of one of his quotes said, "God laughs at us when we think that we know everything and have everyone in boxes...he can come and take the boxes away!" That got me thinking and then he quoted, "Unexpected blessings through unexpected breaks are how God makes jokes!" That sermon increased God's prompting...he was prompting me to go missional, to go abroad to the mission field on a short-term basis. After a lot of prayer and contemplation, I finally said if you want me to go, I will. So now my husband and I are crossing those bridges of figuring out how to make this happen...we'll be going together when it happens, which is really outside of the box, but very exciting!
My family sees me for who I truly am...I'm their wife and mom...and I do those jobs the way my family needs them done. I just add a little spice to them, by being a woman who strives to carve out time with God and also a bit of time for me, tries to examplify to my kids the importance of serving God and those around you (in my mind, this is the most important thing my kids can learn from my husband and I...and take into their lives), who blogs on the sidelines, loves music, writing and drawing and so much more...who might live outside of society's box, but will always be there for them no matter what and at a moment's notice. I'm going to end with one of the scripture passages which was quoted in that fall sermon...it made me think about the fact I sometimes use society's boxes as an excuse not to serve God the way he wants, and that's not a good practice for me to get into! Thanks again to Bible gateway...they save me a bit of typing!
1 Corinthians 1:26-29 (New International Version)
Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.
I got married in my early 20's and we began our family pretty soon afterwards. So I guess you could say I'm a young mom of three...some would say I just don't want to grow up and be completely in my roles, but that's definitely not the case! I don't think I do my husband or my kids any justice by giving up every part of myself...the things which make me who I am...my hobbies, passions for life and ministry, my dreams and aspirations for life, etc. Last year for my birthday, my husband bought me a guitar...I've wanted one for a while, but never looked at them, because I always make sure my family's need are taken care of before my own...that's what you do when you're a wife and a mom! I grew up playing piano and trumpet...being in band allowed me the chance to experiment with my friend's instruments, so I've tried everything over the sun...my sister played the french horn, so we traded and taught each other to play...I began singing on a worship team as a teen and sometimes played drums in the band. I love to write poetry and sometimes take that a step further and attempt to write songs...if I'm in a real adventurous mood, I'll write music for them as well. So, I've always wanted to learn another instrument and both my husband and I thought a guitar would be a good thing, as I could have it with me when writing music for my songs...it's a little more portable than the piano! The reactions I got about my birthday gift were funny...why on earth would I ask for a guitar? I apparently should have asked for something a little more practical, less frivolous and more in line with what a person in my roles of life should ask for!
I guess you could say that I don't like to conform to society's boxes...I like to say that I enjoy living outside the boxes of life! Earlier this fall, I was struggling with a real battle...God was prompting me to go outside my box, but I'd kind of backed down and began to live in my expected box...so I kept telling God there was no way I could say yes to what he was asking...my excuses were that I was a wife, a mom (a new homeschooling mom at that) and that made me a wrong candidate for what he wanted. Then one of my pastors...our church is blessed with three truly gifted and God-led pastors...preached on Rahab and the faith of a prostitute. His sermon spoke mountains to me about the fact that God doesn't conform to boxes...a paraphrase of one of his quotes said, "God laughs at us when we think that we know everything and have everyone in boxes...he can come and take the boxes away!" That got me thinking and then he quoted, "Unexpected blessings through unexpected breaks are how God makes jokes!" That sermon increased God's prompting...he was prompting me to go missional, to go abroad to the mission field on a short-term basis. After a lot of prayer and contemplation, I finally said if you want me to go, I will. So now my husband and I are crossing those bridges of figuring out how to make this happen...we'll be going together when it happens, which is really outside of the box, but very exciting!
My family sees me for who I truly am...I'm their wife and mom...and I do those jobs the way my family needs them done. I just add a little spice to them, by being a woman who strives to carve out time with God and also a bit of time for me, tries to examplify to my kids the importance of serving God and those around you (in my mind, this is the most important thing my kids can learn from my husband and I...and take into their lives), who blogs on the sidelines, loves music, writing and drawing and so much more...who might live outside of society's box, but will always be there for them no matter what and at a moment's notice. I'm going to end with one of the scripture passages which was quoted in that fall sermon...it made me think about the fact I sometimes use society's boxes as an excuse not to serve God the way he wants, and that's not a good practice for me to get into! Thanks again to Bible gateway...they save me a bit of typing!
1 Corinthians 1:26-29 (New International Version)
Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.
Monday, January 02, 2006
New Year's Resolutions
I've never really liked making New Year's resolutions...everyone makes them with such good intentions...but how many people actually keep them?
As the New Year begins, I've made some life decisions, but wouldn't consider them to be "resolutions". I'm a wife and a mother...take these roles very seriously, as they are two of the greatest blessings I've received...my greatest one being my salvation and walk with Christ! Sometimes, though, I tend to worry about everyone else and making sure they're taken care of and doing well...not saying that's a bad thing! But I don't always take enough time to examine my spirituality, health, etc. and my life decision this year is to make more time for me and God...to grow my spiritual health and to make sure I'm rested and healthy, because the truth is that I'm no good to my husband or kids if I'm sick, spiritually unhealthy or suffering from burn-out.
We made a huge step of faith this year...a year ago, my husband and I discussed the fact we would eventually need to examine his job situation. It was in a sector of the work force which was unpredictable...he'd been through lay-offs once, there was a chance of that happening again and always the uncertainity about whether or not you would be hired back. His job was heading a direction he didn't want to be going and so he began thinking about looking for work. At that time, I began reading and praying through "The Power of a Praying Wife" and prayed almost daily about his job and for him to have a job which he was happy and fulfilled at. This summer, he received a job offer and after a lot of prayer, we accepted it and had to relocate our family. That was hard...we had to follow God's lead, as he's never failed us and he's our foundation...he grounds us and glues our family together. But it meant leaving friends, ministries, a job which I loved doing...and to move and start from the ground up! There have been a lot of tears, sometimes anger and depression, a lot of sadness, but the gradual realization that God has reasons for us being where we are...just because we've moved, it doesn't mean we'll never be able to talk with or see our friends...and we will eventually make new connections (it may take some time) and life will continue on...no matter what, our family will be together, and always have each other, through all our faith journeys.
We rang in the New Year with our friends who we said goodbye to earlier this fall. It was a lot of fun...our kids ran around with their friends and we played different varieties of board games and spent time visiting and laughing! Sunday we got to sit and listen to our friend preach his New Year's sermon...he talked about just like a winter blizzard makes the world look fresh and new, so does the Lord when we choose to be new in him. He talked about how God wants to renew and transform us, he's always working on us and changing us and he NEVER gives up on us...he continues to work on us! He said there was one statement he wanted people take with them, if nothing else..."No matter what your past may have been, your future is spotless!"
The one thing I found fitting was the scripture our friend chose for yesterday...it was a scripture which was on my husband's anniversary card this year, only days after we knew we were moving...it was a scripture a lot of my friends gave me in goodbye cards and a scripture I now claim weekly, as I continue in the transition of my new life, in a new city. I'm going to end with it, as I think it's probably the greatest realization that I'm going to take into this year and hopefully it will be a comfort or grounding rod for someone else as well! Thanks to www.biblegateway.com ...they make it a lot easier to quote scripture when you can cut and paste it...makes for less typing errors! I hope everyone will have a very blessed 2006!
Jeremiah 29:10-14(a) (The Message)
This is GOD's Word on the subject: "As soon as Babylon's seventy years are up and not a day before, I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out--plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
"When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen.
"When you come looking for me, you'll find me.
"Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." GOD's Decree.
As the New Year begins, I've made some life decisions, but wouldn't consider them to be "resolutions". I'm a wife and a mother...take these roles very seriously, as they are two of the greatest blessings I've received...my greatest one being my salvation and walk with Christ! Sometimes, though, I tend to worry about everyone else and making sure they're taken care of and doing well...not saying that's a bad thing! But I don't always take enough time to examine my spirituality, health, etc. and my life decision this year is to make more time for me and God...to grow my spiritual health and to make sure I'm rested and healthy, because the truth is that I'm no good to my husband or kids if I'm sick, spiritually unhealthy or suffering from burn-out.
We made a huge step of faith this year...a year ago, my husband and I discussed the fact we would eventually need to examine his job situation. It was in a sector of the work force which was unpredictable...he'd been through lay-offs once, there was a chance of that happening again and always the uncertainity about whether or not you would be hired back. His job was heading a direction he didn't want to be going and so he began thinking about looking for work. At that time, I began reading and praying through "The Power of a Praying Wife" and prayed almost daily about his job and for him to have a job which he was happy and fulfilled at. This summer, he received a job offer and after a lot of prayer, we accepted it and had to relocate our family. That was hard...we had to follow God's lead, as he's never failed us and he's our foundation...he grounds us and glues our family together. But it meant leaving friends, ministries, a job which I loved doing...and to move and start from the ground up! There have been a lot of tears, sometimes anger and depression, a lot of sadness, but the gradual realization that God has reasons for us being where we are...just because we've moved, it doesn't mean we'll never be able to talk with or see our friends...and we will eventually make new connections (it may take some time) and life will continue on...no matter what, our family will be together, and always have each other, through all our faith journeys.
We rang in the New Year with our friends who we said goodbye to earlier this fall. It was a lot of fun...our kids ran around with their friends and we played different varieties of board games and spent time visiting and laughing! Sunday we got to sit and listen to our friend preach his New Year's sermon...he talked about just like a winter blizzard makes the world look fresh and new, so does the Lord when we choose to be new in him. He talked about how God wants to renew and transform us, he's always working on us and changing us and he NEVER gives up on us...he continues to work on us! He said there was one statement he wanted people take with them, if nothing else..."No matter what your past may have been, your future is spotless!"
The one thing I found fitting was the scripture our friend chose for yesterday...it was a scripture which was on my husband's anniversary card this year, only days after we knew we were moving...it was a scripture a lot of my friends gave me in goodbye cards and a scripture I now claim weekly, as I continue in the transition of my new life, in a new city. I'm going to end with it, as I think it's probably the greatest realization that I'm going to take into this year and hopefully it will be a comfort or grounding rod for someone else as well! Thanks to www.biblegateway.com ...they make it a lot easier to quote scripture when you can cut and paste it...makes for less typing errors! I hope everyone will have a very blessed 2006!
Jeremiah 29:10-14(a) (The Message)
This is GOD's Word on the subject: "As soon as Babylon's seventy years are up and not a day before, I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out--plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
"When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen.
"When you come looking for me, you'll find me.
"Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." GOD's Decree.
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